City Driving Gifts

'I'm not stealing your parking space...We're sharing.'

"I think it's more aspirational than prescriptive."

Adult Courses. It's so hard keeping the information from different classes separate! I'm talking film history and psychology. I failed a test because I said a "psychopath" is the walkway Norman Bates took home. I also confused geography and aeronautics. I said the "great plains" are located at an Air Force testing base in the California desert. My worst nightmare was confusing the thinks ti learned in driver's education and statistics. But at least I now know it's driving where you must st

"Tight......this isn't tight...now a New York City apartment......that's tight."

It's a Whole Field of Paisley!

"Why do they do that?"

'Sparky, fetch me an impudent little chardonnay.'

'So what's it like riding in first class?'

Thru versus Through Traffic

Road sign: "Good Start, but you've still got a ways to go."

Steep Hill, Slippery When Wet, Watch for Cars Going Faster Than You.

"The fish sticks here are very good."

GAS PRICES AT PUMP

'Why don't you just pull over and let them pass already?!?'

"The woman on the fire escape who acted like it was a balcony"

"I need to tinkle."

"Gimme a large cheeseburger, regular fries and a diet root beer!"

"These colder temperatures always cause my tire pressure to drop—it's a good thing I stopped to check." Peter finally grows up.

"I used to love power, but now I'm more interested in mileage."

'Wavering between being bullish or bearish'

Please Drove Carefully.

"What road do you want to dart across today?"

Unpopular Street Signs: Road Work Behind, Speed Jump Ahead, Good Luck, Slow Distracted Adults.

Cats on Board.

"Why do they call it rush hour when no one goes anywhere?"

"Would you please step into the garage? Your car and I need to have a word with you."

Child driving a toy car

'So Kyle - have you considered the challenges of van driving?'

"What old school? This is my life."

Music to drive ( others mad) to...

"Do you remember, Peg—are we on our way out or on our way back?"

"I don't know about you, but I'm ready to take this marriage full-throttle."

'So much for your new Satnav!'

Songs about Texas, next 1100 miles.

"Two burgers, two fries, two martinis—and we'll have those to go."