Unusual Gifts

Line of Ostriches

"Your assumption that a one in a million chance event MUST be a miracle shows you drastically underestimate the total number of regularly occurring events."

"Sold For sale Ellie Kopp 1-800-238-7463 Yaffle Realty Stop renting. Buy your boot from a boot."

ESP pizza: You'll get it before you order it or it's free!

"Hard day at the office Dear? You're swigging the Balsamic Vinegar."

"Any duck that thinks that decoy looks like a duck,swims like a duck and sounds like a duck, deserves to be shot!"

"Your toilet water over ice, sir. And how is the homework?"

'It's an acquired taste!'

"This will look great on our bedroom wall."

Route 666.

Pianist.

"This is Norman's little bureau of alcohol, tobacco, and firearms."

And when you give up using this to exercise, with the option keyboard it easily converts into a harpsichord!

Jumbo in Henrik Ibsen's The Wild Duck

"It's amazing the things you see if you wake up an hour earlier than usual!"

'Greetings 2000' Santa passing out gasmasks as presents to children

'Who knew college would prep me for a first class upgrade?'

"Don't you love that new handcar smell?"

A person is catching bird poo on a blank canvas to make portraits.

"The Usual But With Some Added Creepyness"

The Reigate train was more unusual this morning

'Listen; They're playing our song!'

"And of course there's the conspiracy theorists who believe aliens are already here amongst us..."

Tennis anyone?

'I was never convicted! Doesn't that count for something!?'

"I was just wondering, Mr. Parker, when you planned to come by and pick up Mrs. Parker?"

"You have my pet and I have my pet!"

Big Surprise (vending machine)

101 uses of a dead cat: pipe tamper.

Dunbreathin.

Adventures of Brain-in-a-Jar

"Patty and Glen met at the Opera. Rich and I met at the beach. Where did you two meet?"

Dog Sells Fetched Slippers

"Can't say I agree with his methods, but I'll be damned if there's a horse that man can't break."

'Your Letter of Recommendation from the outlaw biker gang, the Devil's Serpents, was certainly complimentary...but it does raise other questions.'