Unsubscribers Unite Gifts

'I've located the source of all that annoying spam we've been receiving...preparing to destroy.'

"The trees are laughing at us."

"We subscribe to five streaming services so why are we never able to see the hot new show everybody is raving about?"

"I prefer 'prostitute'. 'Media whore' implies that I'm not getting paid."

"First break since 1996!"

"I'm sorry, your grapefruit subscription ran out and I forgot to renew it."

'He's determined to not pay for The Times online.'

Subpoena-of-the-Month Club

Time-of-the-month club.

"I subscribed to a collector's magazine! It has great interviews with big-time collectors who buy the world's rarest treasures."

"I looked up your rash online. Have you recently been to one of the moons of Saturn? Or, it could just be poison ivy."

Houdini 2019

'Don't give me that! I know for a fact, he was in my flowerbeds!!'

Club of the Month

"When did Charlie switch to a subscription model?" "Sniff my butt"

"Now paid subscribers will have access to as much free content as non-subscribers."

"Did you join the testimony-of-the-month club?"

"I'm sure it was just an oversight, sir, but your subscription to 'Time' has lapsed."

Next 5 Exits: Five sprawling suburbs that look so much like each other even WE can't tell the difference any more. Best of luck to you.

"You know very well what subscription forms."

'I suppose I'll get married some day - I just don't want to be there when it happens.'

"I'm a Sheep Dog, you would think that counting sheep would help me sleep, but no..."

Q & A's How to unsubscribe.

'Stop whining about commitment! I only asked you to go in on a magazine subscription.'

'No! There isn't an option to unsubscribe!'

"It doesn't really matter who wins the next election, as long as we can keep consuming whatever we want."

Larry hits a paywall while reading an eye exam chart.

Your Trial Subscription Has Expired.

Idiot! You get 12 free rocks, but now you have to buy a rock every month for a year!

"It's not exactly shopping. Many companies have my profile, the send me stuff they now I'll like, and they bill me for it."

"Hello, I'm calling to cancel my subscription to the Punch-of-the-Month basket."

"I wonder if you'd like to subscribe to a theory."

Cyclists with a pollution guard on having a cigarette

Albert hated growing up in a small town. 'Ow!! My toe!'

'There goes Methuselah again, cackling about all his lifetime subscriptions.'