Subscription Skeptic Gifts

Larry hits a paywall while reading an eye exam chart.

"You know very well what subscription forms."

"Now paid subscribers will have access to as much free content as non-subscribers."

Q & A's How to unsubscribe.

The Pill-of-the-Month Club!

"How come in these days of downsizing and lower expectations, all these sneakers come with ridiculously long laces?"

'Six years ago you received a complimentary set of steak knives. You thought they were free didn't you Jimmy?...'

"I prefer 'prostitute'. 'Media whore' implies that I'm not getting paid."

'If content is king, why doesn't anybody want to pay for it.'

Subpoena-of-the-Month Club

"I broke off the relationship, then came the endless reminders, the sad letters and emails...It's tough cancelling a subscription."

Houdini 2019

"Our marriage has been renewed for another season."

"I subscribed to a collector's magazine! It has great interviews with big-time collectors who buy the world's rarest treasures."

"This bill is the same as your estimate! What did'nt you do?"

'How did I become Vice-President? You ask...I came up with the logest list of fees to charge bank customers.'

"I'm increasing your OnlyFan subscription..."

"When did Charlie switch to a subscription model?" "Sniff my butt"

"I'll write your a prescription for a medication that's been recommended in three out of four commercials."

"I'm sure it was just an oversight, sir, but your subscription to 'Time' has lapsed."

Warning people with clipboards operate in this area.

I think I could explain it better to the girl in your TV commercial.

Subscribe to The Times? Girl Scout cookies? Donate to the food bank? Bob only needed a few items, but first he had to walk the Solicitor Gauntlet.

Big Retail is watching you... They're just not really watching what they've got.

'Stop whining about commitment! I only asked you to go in on a magazine subscription.'

"Next time, don't call me at 3 a.m. to ask if a pill you saw on late night TV is right for you!"

'A second opinion? All right, but I charge double for that.'

Sign reads: Please subscribe to see the rest of this view.

'Just give me the ten bucks and look at it as another surcharge.'

"The painting never changes. It's a frame-of-the-month."

TV remotes.

Your Trial Subscription Has Expired.

"It's not exactly shopping. Many companies have my profile, the send me stuff they now I'll like, and they bill me for it."

Funeral Directors.