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'What bothers me about these meetings is even though it's work, I have the nagging feeling I ought to leave and get back to work.'

"Don't worry about missing the meeting, Henshaw. We assigned all the actions to you."

'Who teaches apostrophe usage?'

ACME Balloon Company.

"Is this a 'GOTCHA' question?"

"Has the Wi-Fi seemed slow to you lately?"

"Arithmetic gets a lot harder when you run out of fingers and toes."

Building business relations.

"I hate negative numbers, and I'll stop at nothing to avoid them."

'Yeah, I don't have trouble remembering my times tables, but I stink at algebra...'

"The corner ledge is reserved for senior management."

"Well, I've emailed, faxed, and phoned Dobson. Maybe I should just walk down the hall and talk to him..."

"Thanks for considering me for the job as head of cybersecurity, but I already hacked into your network and gave myself the job."

I've found a loophole in your loophole

Freedom of the press

"That's more like it Perkins..!!"

"Which tax bracket are you looking to avoid?"

'I'm not comfortable with his method of fixing our balance sheet.'

'Eleven?.. you mean there's more numbers beyond the number of fingers we have?'

'Henry, I'm here to trim back your budget.'

'He knows where the viruses are buried.'

"Wi-fi....Wi-fi...WI....FI!...."

Propping up a profits chart.

"The red bars represent the obscene numbers this quarter. The black bars are censoring those red bars."

The Communicator

'We're in good shape. Nobody understands our financial statement.'

Customer Complaints - "Thank you, Thompson, for collecting the statistics."

"I finally got myself organized and unsubscribed from all those-e-mails."

'For people to think we just pluck figures out of THIN AIR is RIDICULOUS, we use a bucket.'

IRS tax instructions.

Climbing in the Bureaucracy.

"No you are not ok! Tell me what's wrong! You've been sitting for two minutes without checking your phone!"

"Easy day at school. Spelling was easy as ABC, math was easy as one two three, and music was easy as Do Re Mi."