Opinion Ninja Gifts

"Oh I have plenty of opinions. I just don't choose to express them."

'Who teaches apostrophe usage?'

Good Luck!

Freedom of the press

"Your answers sound rehearsed."

Freedom of Speech

"I prefer to keep my op-ed article anonymous. I'm Trump's conscience."

Opinion Dislodgement Disorder (ODD).

'When I want your opinion I'll sack you!'

'On a personal note, I'm pleased to report I've been upgraded from reporter to opinionated loudmouthed pundit.'

'Send in the next applicant Ms Jones.'

"Political cartoons that make people think? Are you crazy? We don't want to distract our readers from the weather forecast, the horoscope and the advertisements!"

Confirmation Bias

Jasper Coot: 'Osama shoulda named me to the Supreme Court! I ain't no judge, so I'm qualified! Hell. I ann't even a damn lawyer! But Lord knows, I am judgemental!

"And that's the way we want you to think it is."

Climbing in the Bureaucracy.

'Never mind four out of five doctors.. what do four out of five LAWYERS recommend?'

'This test will determinbe which of you gets the position. Who wants to jump first?'

"This position requires someone with a thick skin... Well, do you think you're up to the job, big nose?"

'Day is day and night is night. That's the opinion of the management of this station. Here with a rebuttal, is attorney...'

'Oh, and if you really want this job, there's one thing you shouldn't mention.'

'Do you want to be manipulated by the left wing media or the right wing media?'

"Mr. Kennings was going to interview you for the job, until he heard you actually wanted to get paid."

"I can't even hear myself think now that everyone has a blog."

"I've got three michelin stars, two for cookery and one for turning up to the interview!"

'No, I won't show you where the self-help books are!'

"I'm afraid your test results aren't good. For a start, the capital of Rwanda is Kigali and you put Nairobi."

'I won't be in this afternoon because I don't have any clever ideas.'

'Did you cut your lip shaving, or are you trying to avoid offering an opinion on the Affordable Health Care bill?'

'This resume looks familiar. Were we once married to each other?'

'That was the view of the right side of my brain...now the view from the left side...'

What's your stupid opinion on the following...

"So why do you feel that you're a better person for the job than every other candidate who's shown me résumés with the exact same credentials?"