Cognitive Ninja Gifts

'I won't be in this afternoon because I don't have any clever ideas.'

Whats ticking away in YOUR filing system?

"In the first place, it isn't "maddening crowd.' It's 'madding crowd.' "

"Give a sh*t" "Don't give a sh*t"

"Everyone seek higher ground! The paperwork is rising to a dangerous level."

"Quick! The ideas are hatching!"

There now, that wasn't too difficult was it!

Good Luck!

Geeky looking guy looks at incomprehensible mathematical problem: 'And this equation proves beyond doubt that I have wasted my life.'

'We appreciate your back of the envelope calculation, Mike. Now put a stamp on the front and send it to somebody who cares.'

"Is this something that could hold till Monday, Chris?"

"I as a multitasker, which lead to being a multiscreener."

'When the school upgraded its operating system, for the third time, I upgraded my headache medicine from over-the-counter to prescription strength.'

"Please excuse the mess. We had a major paradigm shift."

Computer Virus

"It's a stealth suit. So I can stay off the boss's radar."

Complaining about poor grammar

Accountancy

I don't consider it "multitasking" when you have to do the same task over and over to get it right!

"Is there a geek of any kind in the house?"

'No, I won't show you where the self-help books are!'

Penny got carpal tunnel, and had to hunt and peck.

"I'm afraid your test results aren't good. For a start, the capital of Rwanda is Kigali and you put Nairobi."

Desk trays: In House and Outsource.

Service. Diagnostic Testing. It looks like your odometer computer hacked into your fuel injector computer.

"How can I think outside the box when you keep filling my inbox."

'Is that the computer language you've been studying in school, dear?'

Uh-oh, Bob, you got paste and match! Right hand option, left hand up arrow, right food command, left foot V. Keyboard Shortcuts Twister.

Body Language - Hiss!

Working the bugs out of his spear invention

"Don't tell me the doctor isn't available - I just hacked into his itinerary and I know that he has free time right now!"

"The feds wanted to put me in witness protection, but after they saw what you did with my website, they figured you could hide me better."

Birthday cakes for Dieters...

"Grammatically, the stickman should be behind the deer."

"I bet you're glad you got out of politics to spend more time with your family."