Unsubscribe Ninja T-Shirts

Unsubscribe-A-Mole

'What bothers me about these meetings is even though it's work, I have the nagging feeling I ought to leave and get back to work.'

"Don't worry about missing the meeting, Henshaw. We assigned all the actions to you."

'Who teaches apostrophe usage?'

ACME Balloon Company.

"Is this a 'GOTCHA' question?"

'I'd like to return this, please.'

"Arithmetic gets a lot harder when you run out of fingers and toes."

"Has the Wi-Fi seemed slow to you lately?"

"The corner ledge is reserved for senior management."

"I hate negative numbers, and I'll stop at nothing to avoid them."

Building business relations.

'Yeah, I don't have trouble remembering my times tables, but I stink at algebra...'

"Well, I've emailed, faxed, and phoned Dobson. Maybe I should just walk down the hall and talk to him..."

"Thanks for considering me for the job as head of cybersecurity, but I already hacked into your network and gave myself the job."

Freedom of the press

I've found a loophole in your loophole

"Which tax bracket are you looking to avoid?"

"That's more like it Perkins..!!"

Pushed to the max by the algebra test, Tim's brain spontaneously combusted.

'I'm not comfortable with his method of fixing our balance sheet.'

'Eleven?.. you mean there's more numbers beyond the number of fingers we have?'

'Henry, I'm here to trim back your budget.'

"The red bars represent the obscene numbers this quarter. The black bars are censoring those red bars."

Propping up a profits chart.

The Communicator

'He knows where the viruses are buried.'

"Wi-fi....Wi-fi...WI....FI!...."

'We're in good shape. Nobody understands our financial statement.'

Customer Complaints - "Thank you, Thompson, for collecting the statistics."

"I finally got myself organized and unsubscribed from all those-e-mails."

'For people to think we just pluck figures out of THIN AIR is RIDICULOUS, we use a bucket.'

IRS tax instructions.

"No you are not ok! Tell me what's wrong! You've been sitting for two minutes without checking your phone!"

While you were out...