Unruly Kids Wrangler Gifts

Teaching a Sunday school class didn't end the way John imagined.

"Someone once told me that kids grow up so quickly. I hope there's some truth to that."

'Are you finished eating yet, sweetie?...Guess that answers THAT question!'

The Baby Walker

"I said he's beginning to teethe...not tithe."

A Communal Breakfast for the Young

"Because, dang it, even cowgirls deserve a little 'me' time."

A woman with a dog and a baby on a leash

"We've decided your suggestion to have a day care center here at work has merit."

'I'm afraid he's at that age when he's into everything!'

L'il Buckaroo on Board.

"I don't care how good he is. Ain't nobody can get a short on Jeffrey."

"They say change is inevitable...thank goodness!"

"...and I, Pastor Smith...preaching to you now from this pulpit, speak to you from experience about the 'strong-willed' child...BELIEVE me!"

"I guess for me family planning is just a study in fertility."

"No more diapers. Simply lift the lid and go here."

"Ahh...He's got wind"

'I'm lost, did you happen to see a lady without a boy like me ?'

"Never mind Benjamin – he just lawyers-up to get attention."

"Can you read the part about Job again?"

"I'm so good at this!"

'Whatever surprise he's cooking up for you, I'm sure you've a good sense of humour!'

"Mom, can you come get me?"

"I'll be a bit late... sorry."

"Where's your nose?"

'Here comes the Papa-razzi again...'

Impracticle Guide to Having Babies: 'Feeding'

'Beware of teething baby.'

'We're the parents. What we say goes. . . In one ear and out the other.'

'It's not scatting if they're under age two.'

'Hey, Mom, here comes Frankie's tailor!'

Parenting Business Deals

"This is System One and I am holding the beta for System Two."

"Bogeyman under your bed? Oh, no, sweetie, there's no room under there… unlike your closet."

"And this is our son Danny's room. Danny is being raised by wolves."