Banterful Baby Wrangler Gifts

"That's fathering."

"Someone once told me that kids grow up so quickly. I hope there's some truth to that."

The Baby Walker

"I said he's beginning to teethe...not tithe."

A Communal Breakfast for the Young

"His real name is Major, but everyone call him GET DOWN!"

A woman with a dog and a baby on a leash

"We've decided your suggestion to have a day care center here at work has merit."

'I'm afraid he's at that age when he's into everything!'

L'il Buckaroo on Board.

"I don't care how good he is. Ain't nobody can get a short on Jeffrey."

"They say change is inevitable...thank goodness!"

Teaching a Sunday school class didn't end the way John imagined.

"...and I, Pastor Smith...preaching to you now from this pulpit, speak to you from experience about the 'strong-willed' child...BELIEVE me!"

"I guess for me family planning is just a study in fertility."

"No more diapers. Simply lift the lid and go here."

"Ahh...He's got wind"

'I'm lost, did you happen to see a lady without a boy like me ?'

"I couldn't possibly lick another baby right now."

'Technically, he's on a leash, so I say we let this one go.'

"Mom, can you come get me?"

Toys in the DVD Player.

"Never mind Benjamin – he just lawyers-up to get attention."

"I'm so good at this!"

'Whatever surprise he's cooking up for you, I'm sure you've a good sense of humour!'

"Another reckless baby driver! I'd arrest the whole lot of them if they weren't so damn cute."

"I'll be a bit late... sorry."

Impracticle Guide to Having Babies: 'Feeding'

'Beware of teething baby.'

'It's not scatting if they're under age two.'

'Here comes the Papa-razzi again...'

"Where's your nose?"

'We're the parents. What we say goes. . . In one ear and out the other.'