Banterful Baby Wrangler Pillows

"That's fathering."

"Someone once told me that kids grow up so quickly. I hope there's some truth to that."

'Are you finished eating yet, sweetie?...Guess that answers THAT question!'

The Baby Walker

"I said he's beginning to teethe...not tithe."

"His real name is Major, but everyone call him GET DOWN!"

A Communal Breakfast for the Young

"I'd like to get my hands on whoever coined the phrase 'sleeps like a baby'."

"We've decided your suggestion to have a day care center here at work has merit."

A woman with a dog and a baby on a leash

L'il Buckaroo on Board.

'I'm afraid he's at that age when he's into everything!'

Well, we thought we had childproofed the house

"I don't care how good he is. Ain't nobody can get a short on Jeffrey."

"They say change is inevitable...thank goodness!"

Teaching a Sunday school class didn't end the way John imagined.

"...and I, Pastor Smith...preaching to you now from this pulpit, speak to you from experience about the 'strong-willed' child...BELIEVE me!"

"I guess for me family planning is just a study in fertility."

"No more diapers. Simply lift the lid and go here."

"Ahh...He's got wind"

'I'm lost, did you happen to see a lady without a boy like me ?'

'Technically, he's on a leash, so I say we let this one go.'

"Never mind Benjamin – he just lawyers-up to get attention."

"I'm so good at this!"

"I couldn't possibly lick another baby right now."

"Mom, can you come get me?"

'Whatever surprise he's cooking up for you, I'm sure you've a good sense of humour!'

Toys in the DVD Player.

"Another reckless baby driver! I'd arrest the whole lot of them if they weren't so damn cute."

"I'll be a bit late... sorry."

Impracticle Guide to Having Babies: 'Feeding'

'It's not scatting if they're under age two.'

"Where's your nose?"

'Here comes the Papa-razzi again...'

'Beware of teething baby.'