Spirited Child Wrangler Pillows

"...and I, Pastor Smith...preaching to you now from this pulpit, speak to you from experience about the 'strong-willed' child...BELIEVE me!"

"Someone once told me that kids grow up so quickly. I hope there's some truth to that."

The Baby Walker

"I said he's beginning to teethe...not tithe."

'I was just playing rodeo and breaking horses.'

"We've decided your suggestion to have a day care center here at work has merit."

"I don't care how good he is. Ain't nobody can get a short on Jeffrey."

Teaching a Sunday school class didn't end the way John imagined.

"No more diapers. Simply lift the lid and go here."

'I'm lost, did you happen to see a lady without a boy like me ?'

"I'm so good at this!"

"Mom, can you come get me?"

'Whatever surprise he's cooking up for you, I'm sure you've a good sense of humour!'

"Never mind Benjamin – he just lawyers-up to get attention."

"I'll be a bit late... sorry."

'It's not scatting if they're under age two.'

"Where's your nose?"

'Here comes the Papa-razzi again...'

'We're the parents. What we say goes. . . In one ear and out the other.'

"I found the perfect summer job! 'Greet people at retail store. Company uniform required. Must be able to carry small children.' How hard can that be?"

"Why do small children ask so many questions?" "Why not? We need to learn, don’t we? Anyway it’s no big deal is it? Isn’t that what parents are for? You were probably the same, weren’t you? So why complain?"

"And this is our son Danny's room. Danny is being raised by wolves."

"This is System One and I am holding the beta for System Two."

Parenting Business Deals

"Naughty? Nice? It's a bit more nuanced than that..."

The First Day Back

'It's your babysitter, where do you keep your fire extinguisher?'

"They say you're as smart as a 2-year-old child? As a 2-year-old...I don't see it!"

'I took her to register in kindergarten, and they wanted a damage deposit.'

Quiet Time

Nanny with children on leash

Kindergarten Primary School Teacher

"I'm not against having more children, I'd just like to finish with this one first."

'You can always tell the pediatricians.'

"Are you sure they don't include children?"