Spirited Child Wrangler Pillows

"...and I, Pastor Smith...preaching to you now from this pulpit, speak to you from experience about the 'strong-willed' child...BELIEVE me!"

"Someone once told me that kids grow up so quickly. I hope there's some truth to that."

'Are you finished eating yet, sweetie?...Guess that answers THAT question!'

The Baby Walker

"I said he's beginning to teethe...not tithe."

'I was just playing rodeo and breaking horses.'

"We've decided your suggestion to have a day care center here at work has merit."

"I don't care how good he is. Ain't nobody can get a short on Jeffrey."

Teaching a Sunday school class didn't end the way John imagined.

"No more diapers. Simply lift the lid and go here."

'I'm lost, did you happen to see a lady without a boy like me ?'

"I'm so good at this!"

"Mom, can you come get me?"

'Whatever surprise he's cooking up for you, I'm sure you've a good sense of humour!'

"Never mind Benjamin – he just lawyers-up to get attention."

"I'll be a bit late... sorry."

'We're the parents. What we say goes. . . In one ear and out the other.'

'It's not scatting if they're under age two.'

"Where's your nose?"

'Here comes the Papa-razzi again...'

Parenting Business Deals

"Why do small children ask so many questions?" "Why not? We need to learn, don’t we? Anyway it’s no big deal is it? Isn’t that what parents are for? You were probably the same, weren’t you? So why complain?"

"And this is our son Danny's room. Danny is being raised by wolves."

"I found the perfect summer job! 'Greet people at retail store. Company uniform required. Must be able to carry small children.' How hard can that be?"

"This is System One and I am holding the beta for System Two."

"Naughty? Nice? It's a bit more nuanced than that..."

'It's your babysitter, where do you keep your fire extinguisher?'

The First Day Back

"They say you're as smart as a 2-year-old child? As a 2-year-old...I don't see it!"

'I took her to register in kindergarten, and they wanted a damage deposit.'

Quiet Time

Nanny with children on leash

Careful

'You can always tell the pediatricians.'

"Are you sure they don't include children?"