Wild Child Wrangler Pillows

"And this is our son Danny's room. Danny is being raised by wolves."

"Someone once told me that kids grow up so quickly. I hope there's some truth to that."

The Baby Walker

"I said he's beginning to teethe...not tithe."

A Communal Breakfast for the Young

'I was just playing rodeo and breaking horses.'

"We've decided your suggestion to have a day care center here at work has merit."

A woman with a dog and a baby on a leash

'I'm afraid he's at that age when he's into everything!'

L'il Buckaroo on Board.

"I don't care how good he is. Ain't nobody can get a short on Jeffrey."

"They say change is inevitable...thank goodness!"

Teaching a Sunday school class didn't end the way John imagined.

"No more diapers. Simply lift the lid and go here."

"I guess for me family planning is just a study in fertility."

"...and I, Pastor Smith...preaching to you now from this pulpit, speak to you from experience about the 'strong-willed' child...BELIEVE me!"

'I'm lost, did you happen to see a lady without a boy like me ?'

"Ahh...He's got wind"

'Excuse me Ma'am, do you mind if I smoke?'

"I'm so good at this!"

"Never mind Benjamin – he just lawyers-up to get attention."

'Whatever surprise he's cooking up for you, I'm sure you've a good sense of humour!'

"Mom, can you come get me?"

"I'll be a bit late... sorry."

'Here comes the Papa-razzi again...'

'We're the parents. What we say goes. . . In one ear and out the other.'

Impracticle Guide to Having Babies: 'Feeding'

'It's not scatting if they're under age two.'

"Where's your nose?"

"This is System One and I am holding the beta for System Two."

Parenting Business Deals

"I found the perfect summer job! 'Greet people at retail store. Company uniform required. Must be able to carry small children.' How hard can that be?"

Grandma was very innovative in her ideas!

"Unfortunately, at this age I express glee and stark raving terror in the exact same way."

'It's your babysitter, where do you keep your fire extinguisher?'