Kid Wrangler Pillows

'Have a good day, sweetie. Mommy has to go to the office now and attempt to drive a stake through the heart of her competitors.'

'I took her to register in kindergarten, and they wanted a damage deposit.'

"You're in desperate need of exercise, so I'm prescribing my 6 year old to live with you for a month."

"You'll like my parents. They're very child-centered."

Nanny with children on leash

'You the lady who runs a day care center for 200 pre-schoolers?'

'It's a great job, but I'm warning you, the younger kids can be a bit rough...'

Trolley Cage

"Don't worry, ma'm! Your little boy is peacefully in bed with his bear."

"Are you sure they don't include children?"

'You can always tell the pediatricians.'

"Hah, good luck to them when they try to flush THAT!"

"The Day Center called. They say your little girl is resisting arrest."

'You've got to admire them. Most of them actually have children of their own.'

Happy Pup Obedience School: Children Accepted

'You gotta learn to talk, Jeffrey - it's part of the aging process.'

"I'd like to trade him in for something quieter and better behaved."

'We are considering a nursery expansion.'

A kangaroo mother with a joey in her main pouch and a juice box in a separate smaller pouch.

'It's pouring down rain. . . why don't we go school shopping. . . It would save your mom some trouble if I took you.'

Dr.Benjamin Spock

'Can you make this one disappear?'

Since neither of us can remember why I threw this tantrum, just give me something I wanted during a previous tantrum.

The Baby Walker

"Mom, can you come get me?"

The First Day Back

"I'v got this center-of-the-universe gig."

"Someone once told me that kids grow up so quickly. I hope there's some truth to that."

'Are you finished eating yet, sweetie?...Guess that answers THAT question!'

"I said he's beginning to teethe...not tithe."

'I was just playing rodeo and breaking horses.'

A Communal Breakfast for the Young

"Because, dang it, even cowgirls deserve a little 'me' time."

"We've decided your suggestion to have a day care center here at work has merit."

A woman with a dog and a baby on a leash