Toddler Wrangler Pillows

"I don't care how good he is. Ain't nobody can get a short on Jeffrey."

"At the moment I'm afraid we have learning difficulties..."

'I came untucked.'

"I'm crying because, by god, it works."

'Here comes the Papa-razzi again...'

'It's not scatting if they're under age two.'

'Your Walking!'

"Where's your nose?"

"I said he's beginning to teethe...not tithe."

"Lydia is in charge of our church nursery."

This will never work. I'm a night person.'

'He's going through the terrible twos.'

The Great Escape

'You've got it easy. All you have to do is to try to go to the bathroom outside your pants.'

"Jeez, what a day. It's good to be home..."

"They say you're as smart as a 2-year-old child? As a 2-year-old...I don't see it!"

Terrible Twos Bullying

"Now that Ella's turning two, I'd like to transition to being a stay-at-work mom."

"Someone once told me that kids grow up so quickly. I hope there's some truth to that."

"Little Ethan is quite the handful, but Susan and I have no regrets about stealing him from the maternity ward."

'My first was a 'climber,' too.'

'My first was a 'climber,' too.'

"We've been admiring your fathering techniques."

Dog following toddler dropping cookie crumbs

Toddler sharing dog food

"Wait, is this a playdate?"

"I'm so good at this!"

"No more diapers. Simply lift the lid and go here."

"Never mind Benjamin – he just lawyers-up to get attention."

A mom escapes the rain in her child's pushchair

"I'm not against having more children, I'd just like to finish with this one first."