Kids' Wrangler Gifts

'We're the parents. What we say goes. . . In one ear and out the other.'

"Someone once told me that kids grow up so quickly. I hope there's some truth to that."

The Baby Walker

"I said he's beginning to teethe...not tithe."

A Communal Breakfast for the Young

"Because, dang it, even cowgirls deserve a little 'me' time."

"We've decided your suggestion to have a day care center here at work has merit."

A woman with a dog and a baby on a leash

'I'm afraid he's at that age when he's into everything!'

"Give him time, - if anyone can break that swing set, it's O'l Tex."

L'il Buckaroo on Board.

"I don't care how good he is. Ain't nobody can get a short on Jeffrey."

"They say change is inevitable...thank goodness!"

Teaching a Sunday school class didn't end the way John imagined.

"I guess for me family planning is just a study in fertility."

"No more diapers. Simply lift the lid and go here."

"Ahh...He's got wind"

'I'm lost, did you happen to see a lady without a boy like me ?'

"I'm so good at this!"

"Kid gloves, Hernandez. You gotta use kid gloves!"

"Mom, can you come get me?"

'Whatever surprise he's cooking up for you, I'm sure you've a good sense of humour!'

"Never mind Benjamin – he just lawyers-up to get attention."

"I'll be a bit late... sorry."

'It's not scatting if they're under age two.'

"Where's your nose?"

'Here comes the Papa-razzi again...'

Impracticle Guide to Having Babies: 'Feeding'

"I found the perfect summer job! 'Greet people at retail store. Company uniform required. Must be able to carry small children.' How hard can that be?"

"And this is our son Danny's room. Danny is being raised by wolves."

"This is System One and I am holding the beta for System Two."

Grandma was very innovative in her ideas!

Parenting Business Deals

'Beware of the teenager.'

"Unfortunately, at this age I express glee and stark raving terror in the exact same way."