University Underdog Gifts

Higher education.

'It says I missed freshmen Orientation and I have to take it in summer school in order to graduate.'

'Our admission policy is now simplicity itself. If you have the tuition, you're in.'

The trauma of losing.

"I was planning to grow old with Matthew Nelson, but it looks like I'll be growing old with my algebra teacher."

'She flunked me, but I plea-bargained my way up to a C-plus!'

"If we only use 10% of our brains, how am I supposed to get passing grades?"

Well, wish me luck. Mom and dad can handle an 'A' and two 'B's, but I've REAL-L-L-L-Y got to spin the 'D' in math!

"Congratulations Professor, the committee 'okayed' your grant request."

"Don't pull any wisdom teeth. I need all the help I can get in school."

'I wish there were true and false questions on math tests. At least that way I'd have a 70% chance of getting one right.'

Med School Mascots.

"Wow, the current is strong today. It reminds meof the championship race backwhen I was at Yale. Did I mention I rowed at Yale?"

Published but unread poet.

'At least you won't have to worry about the rising costs of a college education.'

Amputee watches wealthy man who has a spare set of legs.

Stop the big guy!

'The good news is that you don't have any long-term memory loss. The bad news is it's all MIDTERM memory loss.'

Balloons vs. Rockets

'You realize, don't you, that you are playing fast and loose with my self esteem?'

'I probably won't be asked to be the first brain donor.'

Oxford-Cambridge Boat Race,1870-The Crews Approach Putney Bridge

"I'm broke, I'm back...and I'm willing to discuss law school."

History exam marked as an 'Epic fail'.

"The university is delighted with the endowment but is there any flexibility over calling it the 'who's the rich one now you toffee nosed bastards' wing?"

'You didn't train for this marathon, did you?'

Oxford-Cambridge Boat Race, 1870 - Crews before Boarding

Resistance.

"The swim team is really feeling those school budget cuts."

'It's the toxic learning environment.'

Undergraduate talking to college porter

Oxford-Cambridge Boat Race, 1870 - Crowds on Putney Bridge

'I think I can...'

Say it loud! We suck and we're proud!

'Let me guess, a graduate of the 'school of hard knocks'?'