Academic Underdogs Gifts

"If we only use 10% of our brains, how am I supposed to get passing grades?"

Stan Mack's Real Life Funnies: The Science of Love

"It says 'break glass' but it doesn't say what glass!'

'It says I missed freshmen Orientation and I have to take it in summer school in order to graduate.'

"Sorry mum, but I just don't get the decimal system..."

"I was planning to grow old with Matthew Nelson, but it looks like I'll be growing old with my algebra teacher."

'She flunked me, but I plea-bargained my way up to a C-plus!'

"Excuse me, Professor. I think I might have spotted a flaw in your theory!"

"Remember, education pays, unless you end up an adjunct - like me."

Football team discussions.

Yale makes better lock than rival Harvard.

'And from this point follow me very carefully.'

Well, wish me luck. Mom and dad can handle an 'A' and two 'B's, but I've REAL-L-L-L-Y got to spin the 'D' in math!

'This game is going to be a character-building experience.'

"Don't pull any wisdom teeth. I need all the help I can get in school."

"Oh, my, I can tell—everybody in there has read Barbara Tuchman."

A heated argument between dons of applied maths and ancient history.

'I wish there were true and false questions on math tests. At least that way I'd have a 70% chance of getting one right.'

'Medea' Studies

'At least you won't have to worry about the rising costs of a college education.'

'I've gotten over my fear of tests, but now I seem to have developed studying anxiety.'

Cleaner in front of interview panel - 'So what makes you want to apply for the job of Equity Fund Manager?'

'The good news is that you don't have any long-term memory loss. The bad news is it's all MIDTERM memory loss.'

'...no you can't phone a friend!'

Opening arguments would begin after the intimidation round.

'Sir, I was wondering if I could get an extension on my paper?'

We get it, Simone. You went to obedience grad school. Be cognizant of the canis familiaris.

'I probably won't be asked to be the first brain donor.'

Mathematicians' put down.

"I'm broke, I'm back...and I'm willing to discuss law school."

Can you tell me how to sue you for flunking me out of law school?

History exam marked as an 'Epic fail'.

'Well, I guess a master's degree is a master's degree, even if it is in skateboarding.'

Student wrestling with life issues.

Undergraduate talking to college porter