University Party Gifts

Big Fish Little Fish Cardboard Box.

'I can't force jocose if I'm not feeling it.'

'No standing while room is in motion.'

'I like you, you remind me of someone.'

Balancing two espresso martinis

"I am so attracted to you right now."

My belief is if you're old enough to take texts, counter-texts, and meta-texts in Western Philosophy, you should be old enough to drink.

Beers

Shaken not stirred

"Always with the String Theory."

'Ron's not drunk - he's pouting because we won't play Pictionary.'

Cut out and keep your own DJ.

"Whine and cheezed party."

'We're the first film ever in HD 3-D DOUBLE D!'

"Honey, I think that's too many bows."

"Come to our microbrew party Saturday. It's B.Y.O.B. — Bring Your Own Brewery."

'You have failed on all counts...'

'Inside Ralph is a comedienne crying to get out.'

"I write mostly confessional non-fiction."

Whale Piñata.

"Why can't you ever relax at parties?"

"You know, you're really cool – we should hang out sometime."

"...and what do you think will happen if you do attend the party?

"Congratulations Professor, the committee 'okayed' your grant request."

"Ugh, I was afraid he'd be here."

'I've heard all about you. Jayne says you're quite the prankster.'

Angry wife: 'Oh well DONE Keith! Why didn't you tell me the invite said BRING your own spirits?!'

Join me in a Caiprinha!

"And before leaving virtual class today be sure and hit that like button!"

"I'm not going to shoot the messenger, but I'm also not going to renew his grant."

Join me in a beer?

Signs of prehistoric party behavior.