Universe Pondering Gifts

"Getting a star named after me makes you feel kind of insignificant doesn't it?"

'But what is the universe for?'

"The following program was made possible by fluctuations in the random chaos of the Universe...."

'You forgot to pay the gravity bill, didn't you?'

God Sneezes Out Creation

"Hey! If you're here to marvel at the smallness of your existence within a glorious, vast and unknowable universe, there's a line!"

"I thought there would be bacon here."

The Origins of Everything

"Look, if I had all the answers, would I be living alone on the top of a mountain?"

...My feng shui would be incompatible with your sumo wrestling.

"Stargazing sure is less painful at night."

"It's scary that humans are our benchmark for intelligent life in the universe."

"Just when I thought I had all the answers, I forgot what the questions were."

"Shall we put it in play?"

Astronaut stumbles upon a weird space anomaly.

'Remember when the authorities were notified when we were spotted? Now nobody cares. They think we're drones.'

"This just in; the Sun has exploded. Further developments in eight minutes."

'Who was there to hear the Big Bang?'

'Let me know when they figure out that it isn't flat.'

'I still contend that we live in a finite universe.'

Creator's Remorse

"Wow, it almost makes me feel as insignificant as an unpaid internship."

'What? -- I send you all this great sunlight, and you waste it growing PROTOPLASM?'

'Hurry up and enjoy your life as a pensioner! Three.. Two.. One..'

'If the Sun doesn't explode in five billion years, do you realize how foolish we'll look?'

The Big Drip Theory of the Universe

Mortgage up: 'Where?.'

The thinker.

'The problem is that even though I'm one with the universe, the universe is clearly nuts.'