Universe Pondering Pillows

"Getting a star named after me makes you feel kind of insignificant doesn't it?"

'But what is the universe for?'

'You forgot to pay the gravity bill, didn't you?'

God Sneezes Out Creation

"The following program was made possible by fluctuations in the random chaos of the Universe...."

"I thought there would be bacon here."

"Hey! If you're here to marvel at the smallness of your existence within a glorious, vast and unknowable universe, there's a line!"

Science Museum. Why are you skeptical about the things scientists say? Because they claim the universe is expanding but when I visited my childhood hometown, everything was smaller.

The Origins of Everything

"Stargazing sure is less painful at night."

"Look, if I had all the answers, would I be living alone on the top of a mountain?"

Do you ever wish you lived in a different era, Randy? It's safer to keep me where I am. Injecting my advanced virility into more primitive eras could have disastrous effects on the timeline. Well

...My feng shui would be incompatible with your sumo wrestling.

'If someone farts in the forest and there's no one around to smell it, does it make a stink?'

"It's scary that humans are our benchmark for intelligent life in the universe."

"I've been supporting life for billions of years! You'd think they'd be supporting themselves by now!"

"Just when I thought I had all the answers, I forgot what the questions were."

"Shall we put it in play?"

Astronaut stumbles upon a weird space anomaly.

'Remember when the authorities were notified when we were spotted? Now nobody cares. They think we're drones.'

'Who was there to hear the Big Bang?'

"This just in; the Sun has exploded. Further developments in eight minutes."

'Let me know when they figure out that it isn't flat.'

'I still contend that we live in a finite universe.'

Creator's Remorse

Stephen Hawking

The Big Drip Theory of the Universe

'What? -- I send you all this great sunlight, and you waste it growing PROTOPLASM?'

'If the Sun doesn't explode in five billion years, do you realize how foolish we'll look?'

Mortgage up: 'Where?.'

'Hurry up and enjoy your life as a pensioner! Three.. Two.. One..'

"Wow, it almost makes me feel as insignificant as an unpaid internship."

"Two things are infinite: The universe and human stupididy' and I'm not sure about the universe." Albert Einstein. Our colleague and I were going to debate, with me arguing the universe is finite and he's arguing that it's infinite. But he pulled out saying the debate organizers are biased against his position. He didn't believe they were simply advising folks to arrive early when they said "space is limited."

The thinker.

'...And the precise value of the Hubble constant is critical to the question of whether out universe will continue to expand forever, or...'