Underworld Ponderer Gifts

Hell before the advent of fire (all dark)

Sure, he's a zombie but hey, it's nice to finally meet someone who is more interested in my brains than my body.

'Houston, I'm prepared to land...'

'But what is the universe for?'

"Why bother?"

"The following program was made possible by fluctuations in the random chaos of the Universe...."

'You forgot to pay the gravity bill, didn't you?'

God Sneezes Out Creation

"Oh boy charades! I love charades! Something big? Is it a bird? It's sharp! Behind? Above?"

"Hey! If you're here to marvel at the smallness of your existence within a glorious, vast and unknowable universe, there's a line!"

The Origins of Everything

"What's your favorite planet, Randy?" "There is only one answer, little buddy. There is only one planet full of lush, green forests and beautiful, windswept ocean vista... all of which are natural aphrodisiacs that inspire lovers, philosophers and poets." "You know, Pandora is not a real planet." "I'm talking about Earth, you... Do you ever go outside?"

"And on the twelfth day the Lord just puttered around... Did I put that cloud there? Looks out of place. Did I do that? Oh, well..."

"Could you tilt the Earth just a bit more away from the light?"

"Ever wondered about the development of mankind if, just before the big bang, a voice said 'Oops!'"

NASA, 'I thought I smelled oxygen!'

'When we bought this place we thought we'd only be making wine. Apparently, we're also into spirits.'

"It's scary that humans are our benchmark for intelligent life in the universe."

'You can fill your teddy bear with stuffing or with a demonic spirit summoned from the nether regions.'

"If the universe is expanding, that's all the more reason to get back to the city."

"Shall we put it in play?"

'Is there a lady in the audience whose late husband says he never did put up that shelf?'

"Ok, you were right – dogs can see ghosts."

"OK, now what's the meaning of the other eight?"

Astronaut stumbles upon a weird space anomaly.

'The problem is you're a perfectionist. You don't always have to be totally evil. Sometimes it's OK to just be annoying.'

'Remember when the authorities were notified when we were spotted? Now nobody cares. They think we're drones.'

'No, this is area 50...Area 51 is over that way...'

"I'm sensing an awkward presence."

'Let me know when they figure out that it isn't flat.'

"This just in; the Sun has exploded. Further developments in eight minutes."