Unique Ingredient Seekers Pillows

Toadstools

"And we are proud to say we only use the freshest artificial ingredients."

'I ran out of sugar, so I used salt.'

"Is the MSG local?"

Honest Vending

'Notice how with truth in packaging requirements all the labels begin with ‘OMG!''

'I'm sure M'lady will appreciate the mashed potatoes. Our chef uses only grass-fed single-udder butter.'

"Do you remember when we used to put FOOD in food?"

Flour, sugar, earth, air, fire, water.

'Diet considerations.'

'I never knew baking was such a violent activity. You have to beat the eggs, whip the cream, and mash the nuts.'

'What wine do you recommend with the peanut butter-filled, deep fried, jalapeno bacon bombs?'

"How would you like your soy protein, mixed tocopherols and methylcellulose patty?"

"Into every shopping cart a little mysterious Mediterranean product must fall."

...and a pooty fruity!

Rat Hair: Peanut Butter Ingredient.

'Just between you and me, Mrs Frobish, how'd you like the lowdown on what's really in knockwurst?'

Secret Family Recipes

"If you were truly blessed by genius, it wouldn't end there, believe you me!"

'It's gluten-free or free range or something. Enjoy.'

Processed foods, unprocessed foods.

'Now with 30% less crap you can't even pronounce!'

"What is it going to be, a breakfast or shampoo?"

"No, we don't sell gluten-free gluten."

Sugar-coated riboflavin yellow #5 fructose surbosic-carboblutonic flakes.

"The manna tastes okay, but I'd feel better if I had a list of ingredients."

"People are always whining about food labelling, but there's NOTHING that ANYONE with a reasonable chemistry degree and maybe a PhD in pharmacology wouldn't with a little effort, be able to understand....At least a little."

Witch making a brew with Gluten, Nuts, Trans Fats, BGH, GMOs...

Why Chemists shouldn't take their work home "I can't believe it's not b-b-vegetable mono & dyglycerides!"

"Please yourself, I'll add salt if you like but I'm only dyeing a pair of socks..."

Kitchen Consultations

'We don't want your business; we just want the recipe.'