Ingredient Hunter Pillows

"You have to try this crazy diet. Just hunting down the exotic ingredients gives you loads of exercise!"

'This new ‘Exotic Foods' diet really works. I've lost 5 pounds running around looking for the ingredients!'

"Heck, 'an orange', the only thing I haven't got."

Toadstools

"And we are proud to say we only use the freshest artificial ingredients."

'I'm sure M'lady will appreciate the mashed potatoes. Our chef uses only grass-fed single-udder butter.'

All Natural Nothing

'Notice how with truth in packaging requirements all the labels begin with ‘OMG!''

Honest Vending

"Is the MSG local?"

"Do you remember when we used to put FOOD in food?"

Flour, sugar, earth, air, fire, water.

"It's been redacted to produce our sauces."

Sure, I'll take a sandwich

'Diet considerations.'

'I never knew baking was such a violent activity. You have to beat the eggs, whip the cream, and mash the nuts.'

"How would you like your soy protein, mixed tocopherols and methylcellulose patty?"

Rat Hair: Peanut Butter Ingredient.

"Into every shopping cart a little mysterious Mediterranean product must fall."

'Just between you and me, Mrs Frobish, how'd you like the lowdown on what's really in knockwurst?'

Virgin Olive Oil. Not-Virgin-But-Has-A-Heart-Of-Gold Olive Oil.

Secret Family Recipes

"Bingo, it's the hippy lady again! She always throws something interesting: last week it was honey-beer bread..."

'You're lucky you can't read.'

'It's gluten-free or free range or something. Enjoy.'

Processed foods, unprocessed foods.

'Now with 30% less crap you can't even pronounce!'

"What is it going to be, a breakfast or shampoo?"

"No, we don't sell gluten-free gluten."

"Well, if you haven't seen him, do you know a good recipe for puff pastry?"

"People are always whining about food labelling, but there's NOTHING that ANYONE with a reasonable chemistry degree and maybe a PhD in pharmacology wouldn't with a little effort, be able to understand....At least a little."

Sugar-coated riboflavin yellow #5 fructose surbosic-carboblutonic flakes.

"The manna tastes okay, but I'd feel better if I had a list of ingredients."

'You don't need to worry Jean, he's a very simple cook.'

'We don't want your business; we just want the recipe.'