Uni Insider T-Shirts

"To talk about the 76% of my time preparing lectures, press one. To talk about why adjunct professors teach most of the classes, press two, to talk. . ."

Molecular Biology and Cosmology buildings

"National security adviser"

Math 101, for those who can only count to 100.

"Hold everything! I just thought up a terrific loophole!"

Man on left - 'What do you call a public servant who spends half their time doing private work?' Man on right - 'An MP?'

"Dad, why does a huge beast like that let such a small bully control it?"

Fiscal cliff

The Filibuster.

'As a career goal, I'd like to work in government, get the goods on someone, and write a tell-all book.'

'I'm not interested in what the paper is about, Dr Jones, I just want you to put me on the authors' list...'

Merchant Bankers - Patience is a virtue, anyone displaying it will be dismissed

'My parents didn't want me to get left behind.'

The institute.

GOP surprise.

The Pi Advantage

"You know what I like about power? It's so damn empowering."

'We're promoting you to Full Professor, Ferguson -- Here are your elbow patches!:'

"We can't even admit we work here."

"Even though it's an honorary degree, we have to bill you for 4 years of tuition."

'We finally found the source of all those wikileaks!'

GOP tent door

'If there is office politics going on, then lets make sure the incumbents stay in power.'

'It's outrageous - they don't want to be proper students like us at all - they come here to work!'

The Darling Buds of Theresa May.

'I knew I should have learnt more management speak!'

'So from the top. If they need urgent help it's form Ac/765...'

"And now... the latest dope from Washington..."

'They offered a compromise - it's sort of tenure, but I still have have to teach freshman English.'

"It's a safe seat."

"It's not about the money. It's about buying politicians and running the country."

Teacher's Lounge: 'Do Not Enter' sign aimed at children.

'Your 'No lobbyist left behind' initiative is a huge success.'

'While the campus master plan does not provide for one, it does not rule out the possibility of a COSTCO.'

"Four terms in Congress have giveb me the kind of ying which I believe could make some real yang out here in the private sector."