Uni Insider Pillows

"To talk about the 76% of my time preparing lectures, press one. To talk about why adjunct professors teach most of the classes, press two, to talk. . ."

Molecular Biology and Cosmology buildings

"National security adviser"

Math 101, for those who can only count to 100.

"Hold everything! I just thought up a terrific loophole!"

"Dad, why does a huge beast like that let such a small bully control it?"

Man on left - 'What do you call a public servant who spends half their time doing private work?' Man on right - 'An MP?'

Fiscal cliff

The Filibuster.

'As a career goal, I'd like to work in government, get the goods on someone, and write a tell-all book.'

'I'm not interested in what the paper is about, Dr Jones, I just want you to put me on the authors' list...'

Merchant Bankers - Patience is a virtue, anyone displaying it will be dismissed

'My parents didn't want me to get left behind.'

The institute.

GOP surprise.

The Pi Advantage

"You know what I like about power? It's so damn empowering."

'We're promoting you to Full Professor, Ferguson -- Here are your elbow patches!:'

'If there is office politics going on, then lets make sure the incumbents stay in power.'

'We finally found the source of all those wikileaks!'

"Even though it's an honorary degree, we have to bill you for 4 years of tuition."

"We can't even admit we work here."

GOP tent door

'It's outrageous - they don't want to be proper students like us at all - they come here to work!'

"And now... the latest dope from Washington..."

'I knew I should have learnt more management speak!'

'So from the top. If they need urgent help it's form Ac/765...'

". . . and yours is the most special of the special interests I cater to."

The Darling Buds of Theresa May.

'They offered a compromise - it's sort of tenure, but I still have have to teach freshman English.'

"It's not about the money. It's about buying politicians and running the country."

'Your 'No lobbyist left behind' initiative is a huge success.'

"It's a safe seat."

'While the campus master plan does not provide for one, it does not rule out the possibility of a COSTCO.'

"Four terms in Congress have giveb me the kind of ying which I believe could make some real yang out here in the private sector."