Unfulfilled Athlete Gifts

Being vertically challenged, I never realized my dream of becoming a pro basketball player. But on a trip to work, it was just like I was a hoops star! I spilled some coffee when walking. I dribble whenever my feet are in motion. I took a selfie when I stopped at the ATM - it was a nice bank shot. Then as I neared the office, I came down the lane - and made an impressive display of driving and dunking. I should be getting a big shoe sponsorship contract any day now!

I like the Jets...I guess

"I wanted to be a baseball player 'til I found out they send you to the showers."

My coach wants me to go to soccer camp. Focusing on one sport isn't good for you. But mom! I'll develop crucial life skills. Let's see. "Landing endorsements, agents and college sports scholarships." The definition of "crucial".

I love your enthusiasm, girls, but we're not opening a can of whoop-ANYTHING.

Exercising

Hockey Season.

Dedication to excellence....

'Wait! Let's see if he gets up on his own.'

The team video didn't spotlight my talents. I've hired my own film crew. They'll showcase my skills so college recruiters can see my strengths. Wow! How can the director pack so much into one little video? Great point! Daddy? Tell Steven Spielberg we're going feature length. Nice save!

"Yes! I hit a triple. Woo-hoo."

"Because when you're drafted by the pros, you'll have to be able to sign your contract. That's why you have to attend first grade."

'It's too early to say but my lad may be good enough to swim professionally.'

'Bigley, you're over-training!'

'The bad news is you failed all your courses. The good news is you passed the urine test.'

First Prize!

Girl in Yellow Jumper

"That's nuthin'. Yesterday he beat up Alex Rodriguez."

The Boys of Indian Summer

I think it's time to retire from boxing. I'm too old for life in the fist lane.

'I need to do more exercising? Are you kidding?! I'm a kind of marathon runner! I run from the bed to the fridge, then to the table, back to the fridge and then to the TV, back again to the fridge and retour to the TV day by day!'

Charlie's medical advice always went in one ear and out the other.

'It's great that you want a career in football, Timothy, but don't you think being a striker would be more fun than being a goalpost.'

'When you talk about playing, 'at the next level', you mean lawyering, right, not the NBA?'

Rowing - Eights / After Eights.

'I told my teacher that I won't be returning to school. I'm trying out for a pro basketball team, and her services are no longer required.'

'I want to be a professional Polo player too when I grow up... Can I have your autograph please?'

'When I grow up, if I don't become a pro basketball player, about about 'spin doctor'?'

"To be honest, it just collects dust."

'I want to be a professional Polo player too when I grow up...Can I have your autograph please?'

"Coach said I can be catcher if I gain 30 pounds."

STRIP Golfer turned Javelin thrower

Just as he was about to be annihilated, Dirk makes an amazing discovery,

"There's more to basketball than winning. There's also telling China to back off in Hong Kong."

Rower Bobby Pearce stops mid-race to let some ducks cross his path safely