Unexpected Thinker Gifts

Foot Massage

"No, ma'am. I'm not sure what the difference is between being creative or just plain weird."

No Immediate Danger

'In a nutshell, foods are drugged and drugs are eaten like food.'

Schrodinger's Black Box

"Your assumption that a one in a million chance event MUST be a miracle shows you drastically underestimate the total number of regularly occurring events."

Science Museum. Why are you skeptical about the things scientists say? Because they claim the universe is expanding but when I visited my childhood hometown, everything was smaller.

Cactus seats.

"When I get to Heaven, will I still have to clean my room?"

"May I offer a very different scenario?"

You are much more likely to think outside the box if it is broken.

'I wonder how Curious George fits into all this?'

"Things are looking up!"

"What do you want to be when you grow up?" "Nothing. I'm going into stem cell research."

"It's going to be huge! Cheese-flavored vodka!"

'See, dear, you can't believe everything you read. It says so right here on the internet!'

"When you're nailing the numbers, they don't ask questions."

"If everything is God's will, tell me again why I need to study for exams?"

'Can you debunk my essay?'

'Just do the presentation Williams and let the numbers speak for themself.'

'You can't win - a little knowledge is a dangerous thing, but ignorance is no excuse!'

"This is never going to work—you're a tree!"

'There goes another one. Galileo, don't you have any idea what makes them do that?'

"Yes, I'm sure that going to school isn't the same as eating from the Tree of Knowledge."

Congratulations! - You have been nominated for the Turner Prize...

'It's called a telescope son. It's sort of like a low-tech search engine.'

Philosophy Test Today. This "Meaning of Life" question -- is that essay or true-false?

Evolution or Creation? A Compromise

'Man, I'm sick of thinking...can't someone flip on a T.V. or something?'

'Did spiders invent bungee jumping, Dad?'

'My God Pearson you're right. All these years the greates scientific minds have been looking for the theory of everything and all we had to do was Google it!'

Kid to church leader: 'Is Heaven environmentally friendly?'

"Right before I die I'm going to swallow a bag of popcorn kernels."

"I didn't want this book to end, so I stopped reading it midway."

"Every once in a while he gets nostalgic for Woodstock."