Unexpected Scientist Gifts

"The control group has taken control."

Need Supercomputer to finish my PhD, Please Help.

Reverse Ageing Laboratory

"What lead you to growing human tests in a test tube?"

"I said to make a thousand CLONES."

Recombinant DNA Lab. I'm crossing a pine tree, pumpkin and bunny --- You can use it for three holidays!

"I guess one of the bunnies was a boy after all!"

Genetic Fingerprinting.

Pavlov's Cat

Biologists often consult with microbiologists.

'Well, Eddy may look a bit rough, but he's good at heart - last week, he bought stocks from a company which produces cuddly puppy toys in pink ballet dresses!'

'That's interesting -- I seem to have discovered the gene that makes people want to become geneticists.'

"Galileo, I've had about enough of all your gravity experiments!"

'Wow! Oh, wait -- It's only a Nobel consolation prize.'

Congratulations! - You have been nominated for the Turner Prize...

Cloning Laboratory: 'I never thought I'd work here.'

No other lab did as cutting edge research using lab rats as test subjects as McWit Lab.

Goopco Oil Co. What a party! They're having a contest to see who the crudest oil molecule is!

Carl Wilhelm Scheele: "There was a great display of ores and minerals...I could not write with a molybdenite pencil."

'Kleinzweck has a theory that the strong nuclear force is actually tiny rolls of duct tape.'

'I'm left brained and I needed some right brains.'

"Now don't expect any miracles. I'm only a para-scientist."

'This cork idea of yours is great! How do you get it out?'

Great progress has been made in the science of genetic clowning.

Impartial Testing: "Eeny, meeny, money, moe..."

"Please, George...not here!"

Early Scientific Fraud: Young Thomas Edison Tried to Pass off a Container Filled with Fireflies as an Incandescent Bulb.

'You said you went to night classes to draw birds, and when I asked whether they had clothes on and you said they didn't - you know I didn't expect this!'

'Do you promise to brush up on such matters as the Large Hadron Collider?'

'Ever since I had a disease named after me, people seem to keep their distance.'

Foot Massage

'Are you sure Anderson is working on the Human Genome Project?'

'I'm writing my dissertation on Latte Sizes.'

Agricultural Failures: Hydroponic Livestock.

"All I get is a bird's eye view."