Unexpected Celebrity Pillows

"The video of you giving that big bloke a piece of your mind has gone viral!"

'Now that I have your attention...'

"I invited a few friends over who think you should see a psychiatrist."

"I got super baked in the shire and accidentally recruited these four little weirdos for the most important mission of all time."

'I found the termites!'

Congratulations! - You have been nominated for the Turner Prize...

'Bob likes to express himself through his art!'

"Ok, maybe a surprise party wasn't the best idea."

'You said you went to night classes to draw birds, and when I asked whether they had clothes on and you said they didn't - you know I didn't expect this!'

'Hell's freezing over. The only thing I can figure is McWit Construction actually finished a job on time.'

"This'll be our first Christmas together."

I'm leaving the band in order to pursue a solo career.

'All I've ever wanted to do is dance!'

Lion Leaps off Stage into Audience

'Really, this award has come as a great surprise...'

"Your college student, home for the holidays, waits until dinner to announce that he is now a vegan. . ."

'This wine speaks for itself.' 'Howdy!'

"Can you hear me now?"

Can You Dance?

"When you called yourself a playboy...."

Shark Bomb

Monk Parrot.

Fisherman finds golf kit

"Yes, they do make you look taller."

'Cheer up Mom...They say dead is the new 80.'

A surprisingly challenging resolution. This year my resolution is to leave well enough alone.

Magician's trick

Congratulations, Mort. I noticed your campaign has already raised over $250,000. My what did what now? Very funny. I admire you, Mort. No Democrat has had the guts to take on Congressman Snidely in over 40 years. What are you talking about? I'm not running for anything. You've got a profile page up on the Justice Democrats' website. You're neck-and-neck in the polls. Justice Dem -- Wait a second, I thought I was ordering a t-shirt. I wondered why they had to run a background check for that. You'

'All good things come to an end . . .'

'Hey, look!'

'This guy REALLY leads a sheltered life- he lists Santa as a reference.'

I didn't realise you sold shoes!

"Weird - it must have gotten mixed in with the office supplies when I left the job."

"I dragged a man out of a burning building. Un"fortunately, it was a fireman...

'Good news, folks! The plumber is here!'