Underwater Communication Pillows

'Harp?...Lark?...'

Lynching on social media

'When we get there let me do the double talking.'

"Peter's Joint Head of Communications."

'How fast can you hype?'

"And isn't it time we replaced the worn-out, meaningless cliches in our mission statement with some dazzlingly new meaningless cliches?"

This Message Has No Content

"Barking sometimes helps me relax. But then it drives the neighbors crazy."

"Damn - another letter to the editor."

Very Difficult Conversations

"They didn't want to be identified in my photo, so I blurred their butts."

I'm at the shrub with the empty bag of pretzels we sniffed last week. Where are you?

"The answer to bone loss is to bury them deeper.'

"They communicate through clicks and taps."

'That's not speaking, that's barking Try again'

'Let go of that balloon right now!'

'What a CV - if you can write memos like this you'll go far in our organisation.'

Even more of what people say (and what they really mean)

"Just a brief moment, Linda, to thank you for my delicious meals. And if you need me by your side... just whistle." "What fresh hell is this?"

"You don't whisper anymore."

"I'm all for pushing them out of the nest, but maybe next time we could wait till they hatch."

"You understand that they call you 'good boy' because they can't remember your name, right? They never forget my name, they care about me..."

"Bark bark bark bark bark" "Fwd: bark bark bark bark bark" "Fwd: fwd: bark bark bark bark bark" "Fwd: fwd: fwd: bark bark bark bark"

'Sometimes, I wonder if Master realizes we are dogs: He always says 'good boy, good boy'...'

"Lenny?" "Darrell?"

'You'll get five paid sick days, plus an additional two when you're shedding your skin.'

'Answer these constituents letters. Tell them to go to hell in a nice way.'

'Polly wants a cracker! Fetch!'

"This is a great school but it wasn't my first choice."

"Have you tried biting him?"

Pet psychic -- yup, she's for real.

'You look gorgeous, honey! I love it when you wear your tentacles 'up'.'

"He sits there all day waiting to chase the email man."

"I think it loves us."

'Excuse me - are you organic?'