Underwater Communication Gifts

'Harp?...Lark?...'

Lynching on social media

'When we get there let me do the double talking.'

'How fast can you hype?'

"And isn't it time we replaced the worn-out, meaningless cliches in our mission statement with some dazzlingly new meaningless cliches?"

This Message Has No Content

"Barking sometimes helps me relax. But then it drives the neighbors crazy."

"Damn - another letter to the editor."

"They didn't want to be identified in my photo, so I blurred their butts."

Very Difficult Conversations

I'm at the shrub with the empty bag of pretzels we sniffed last week. Where are you?

"The answer to bone loss is to bury them deeper.'

"They communicate through clicks and taps."

'That's not speaking, that's barking Try again'

"Bark bark bark bark bark" "Fwd: bark bark bark bark bark" "Fwd: fwd: bark bark bark bark bark" "Fwd: fwd: fwd: bark bark bark bark"

'You'll get five paid sick days, plus an additional two when you're shedding your skin.'

"Just a brief moment, Linda, to thank you for my delicious meals. And if you need me by your side... just whistle." "What fresh hell is this?"

'What a CV - if you can write memos like this you'll go far in our organisation.'

"Lenny?" "Darrell?"

Even more of what people say (and what they really mean)

"I'm all for pushing them out of the nest, but maybe next time we could wait till they hatch."

"You don't whisper anymore."

'Let go of that balloon right now!'

'Sometimes, I wonder if Master realizes we are dogs: He always says 'good boy, good boy'...'

"You understand that they call you 'good boy' because they can't remember your name, right? They never forget my name, they care about me..."

'Answer these constituents letters. Tell them to go to hell in a nice way.'

'Polly wants a cracker! Fetch!'

Pet psychic -- yup, she's for real.

"He sits there all day waiting to chase the email man."

"This is a great school but it wasn't my first choice."

'You look gorgeous, honey! I love it when you wear your tentacles 'up'.'

"Have you tried biting him?"

"I think it loves us."

'Excuse me - are you organic?'

"Just what emotion is your emotional support dog supporting?"