Underwater Comedy Fans Gifts

"Wow, that was some fart!"

'A cousin to the hammerhead, here we see the allusive, yet, handy, multi-use shark.'

"Say Bernie, how come this little guy's been following you around all week?"

Peter Benchley's New Book Fish!

'The trick to scaring surfers is to only show your dorsal fin when you surface next to them...'

"I told you not to hold your breath when comping up!"

Two fish - one with bubbles coming from his bottom.

Fish: 'WHOA,Gesundheit!' / A Fish has sneezed out all of his scales

"What's a nice plaice like you, doing in a girl like this...?"

'That still doesn't make you a big fish!'

I'm not just being paranoid, Margret. His breath smells like dolphin and I even found a flipper in his coat pocket yesterday. I really think Earl's hitting the bottlenose again.

"She's definitely had work done on her tail."

"Has anyone fed the goldfish?"

'I understand the plight of average crustaceans... Because I'm just an average crustacean myself.'

'Every school has a class clown.'

Octopus Manicure.

'Well, this is embarrassing.'

'Hey, bartender! This scotch is watered down!'

You're so lucky, my stripes make me look fat.

"You may think you look cool, but can you actually breathe properly with that stupid cap on?"

'You're a little overweight.'

Portuguese Mom of War

'Water? What's that? I've never heard of it!'

"He gets cranky if I don't fill in my timesheet every week, and believe me, you don't want to get him cranky!"

Fear's fishes

"I used to have a cigarette after spawning, but I could never keep them lit."

So... Another late night at the office, Huh? I read your Facebook Status... Who's Ariel? I deserve the truth, Arthur.

When Sponges Talk

If you two don't keep the noise down, I'll have to separate you.

You do realize these suits are waterproof on the inside, too.

"Dating is hard when you feel like people only like you for your legs."

Gesundheit! (When whale sneezes, smaller fish emerge from its blow hole.)

"You know what I'm sick of? Krill."

Sardine funeral

Sworn Anenome