Undead Appreciator Pillows

"Technically he's a zombie but we'll market him as a hybrid."

"Why am I always the designated driver?!"

He has died...but is he really, really, really dead?

"It's such a beautiful day. Why don't we go out and get someone to eat?"

Grim Reaper Buying CDs...

You're dead to me, Marsha. And that's just the way I like it."

"Now that's what I'M talkin' 'bout!"

Pull my finger! Zombie Humor.

Finally! A cure for the common cold!

'I hate waking up with coffin hair.'

I Pagliacci

'Seriously Vicar, I do not think you have seen this guy in the morning service!'

"I don't want any old ones, I want my own back..."

"I'm getting plasma, iron and platelets. RH positive!"

Monster Baseball

"Don't be a sentimental fool, Harker!"

Child buys 'Dracula doll': Keep in box until sunset.

"No thanks. I'm not interested in any handouts."

"Your wife called you 'heartless?' Well...she is right."

'Good night darling...sweet nightmares.'

"Dig deep! C'mon! You got this!"

'Anything good on tonight?'

"Let's dig into that. When did you first start feeling like you lost the will to not live?"

'My doctor's put me on a strict diet. From now on I have to ask my victims how high their cholesterol is.'

"Brrrr...! - You know when you get the feeling that someone's just fallen into your grave...?"

After-Life Mints

'Instead of one of our dishes you want to eat me? Just a minute, sir.. I've go to ask the manager.'

'I get a lot of job offers..'

"Mt. Joe Cemetary?"

Don't Worry, Buddy I've Got Your Back!

'It's a Sam Shepard play with the usual props - burnt toast, live animals, and a penis or two.'

"If a tree falls in the forest and no one is around to hear it — who cares?!"

"There's always one kid that spoils the class picture."

'No, sorry. You've reached Dragons. Payroll is on extension 4702. Shall I put you through?'

Godot Bound And Gagged In A Dark Office