Unconventional Parent Pillows

"Sweet dreams, Tim." "Mort Feldstein: Loving father and professional clown."

"Have you been on the moon again, young man?"

'...I already have 26 cats, why not 27...'

"Actually, it is a bad time — I’m rushing to get the kids out of the oven."

'He's not talking yet, but his texting skills are excellent...'

"Hang on. Mommy's just checking to see if she's still relevant to the outside world."

'Bad luck duck - he's on your side of the bed.'

Amazon Drones Delivering Babies

"Oh, Frank, look! He's sending his first tweet!"

A child sitting on a swing - while playing with a hand-held electronic device or phone

"He just said his first word!"

'The food is great, but it's embarrassing the way she always insists on burping you.'

'Those are my triplets. Com, Net and Org Barnes.'

"Never mind Benjamin – he just lawyers-up to get attention."

Kid is 'Born to Text'.

"Where's your nose?"

"With the baby-cam, there is no privacy."

"I brought frankincense." "I brought gold." "I brought diapers!" "A wise woman!"

he used to belong to a cartoonist

Businessman with briefcase pushes stroller with baby and its briefcase.

You're right-this is way better than a standing desk.

"I can hardly wait for him to start leading a life of quiet desperation."

'Have you googled me to see how old I was when I was born?'

"Geese fly in a V, son--attorneys fly in a wedge."

'That kid! He forgot it again!'

'Dad, are you sure this is building the right muscles for football?'

'Now, you've been naughty, you're in time out! I'll turn you over in five minutes!'

'If you don't behave we'll unfreeze your stem cells!'

'I don't care if an app on your phone is monitoring you, you still need a baby sitter when your father and I are gone.'

'I'm here, Mom, hanging out with some friends.'

'...and please God, protect the social security fund for another sixty years.'

"My fella was chucked out of the water-birth for running around the pool and bombing."

"Are we there yet? Are we there yet?..."

'Sending someone to his room was a punishment when I was a kid.'

Phone Mittens