Unconventional Parent Mugs

"Sweet dreams, Tim." "Mort Feldstein: Loving father and professional clown."

"Have you been on the moon again, young man?"

'...I already have 26 cats, why not 27...'

"Actually, it is a bad time — I’m rushing to get the kids out of the oven."

'He's not talking yet, but his texting skills are excellent...'

"Hang on. Mommy's just checking to see if she's still relevant to the outside world."

'Bad luck duck - he's on your side of the bed.'

A child sitting on a swing - while playing with a hand-held electronic device or phone

"He just said his first word!"

"Oh, Frank, look! He's sending his first tweet!"

Amazon Drones Delivering Babies

"Never mind Benjamin – he just lawyers-up to get attention."

'Those are my triplets. Com, Net and Org Barnes.'

Kid is 'Born to Text'.

'The food is great, but it's embarrassing the way she always insists on burping you.'

"Where's your nose?"

"I brought frankincense." "I brought gold." "I brought diapers!" "A wise woman!"

he used to belong to a cartoonist

Businessman with briefcase pushes stroller with baby and its briefcase.

"With the baby-cam, there is no privacy."

You're right-this is way better than a standing desk.

"I can hardly wait for him to start leading a life of quiet desperation."

'That kid! He forgot it again!'

"Geese fly in a V, son--attorneys fly in a wedge."

'Now, you've been naughty, you're in time out! I'll turn you over in five minutes!'

'Dad, are you sure this is building the right muscles for football?'

'I don't care if an app on your phone is monitoring you, you still need a baby sitter when your father and I are gone.'

'If you don't behave we'll unfreeze your stem cells!'

'...and please God, protect the social security fund for another sixty years.'

'I'm here, Mom, hanging out with some friends.'

"My fella was chucked out of the water-birth for running around the pool and bombing."

'Monster mobiles.'

"Are we there yet? Are we there yet?..."

'Sending someone to his room was a punishment when I was a kid.'

"Congratulations, counselor - it's a baby boy, with a full set of teeth."