Unconventional Cure Explorer Gifts

"Your husband isn't responding to the normal treatment, Mrs Exley, but he is responding to the abnormal treatment."

"She's fine. She just needs some tofu."

Self help acupuncture

Hot Pie Therapy

Institute of Health next to Alternative medicine dept

"Well, it might not work but at least it smells bad."

'Mom's Spa'

'Doctor, how much acupuncture experience DO you have?'

"All I take anymore is mushrooms for my anxiety, ketamine for my depression, and ibuprofen for the goblins constantly eating my feet."

'Cock-a-doodle-doo!' 'Cut back on the chicken soup.'

We at pharmacorp are 100% behind the benefits of spiritual and artistic therapies which is why we've developed 'megazymol' to enhance the experience!

"Aren't you getting a little carried away with this herbal medicine, Doctor?"

"It's all locally-sourced, made from scratch."

"CBD… oil… CBD… oil…"

"Okay, Jaxcsunn, stay still in the crystal circle while I douse you in essential oils."

Flo figured that since she was using medical marijuana during chemo, she might as well go hippy retro.

'I can't wait for a generic version of eyes of newts to come out.'

'Relax, folks, he just did that for me. When I get the hiccups, a little scare never fails to cure them.'

"It's just that you might find food a lot cheaper!"

"Lay off the natural remedies. You're beginning to ferment."

'Laughter is not always the best medicine, Mr. Jonic.'

"I knew it was unnatural to jump that high out of water."

"The pharmacist will be with you shortly to answer any questions that you have."

Itchy Bum? WD-3000.

"She's fine. She just needs some tofu."

"Any pain relief with the cannabis?"

"Well Doctor, I thought if a placebo works, this might as well..."

"Sergio, we don't have to spend so much money on health insurance."

Your insurance doesn't cover leeches, but some patients are reporting good outcomes with the escargot.

"This is just a placebo cast, but it makes a lot of people feel better."

Alternative medicine

'I want you to try an alternate cure for your insomnia-start watching daytime television.'

'I believe one of the doctors here practices alternative medicine.'

'Can you keep a secret? This particular remedy is illegal in 49 states.'

"What's the big deal? All these politicians talk about a health care plan! I have a health care plan!"