Herbal Remedy Explorers Gifts

For Witches of a Certain Age

Institute of Health next to Alternative medicine dept

'Mom's Spa'

"I've never seen Tia Carmen so excited about a grand opening."

"I'm not feeling well. I'm picking up a few things at my pharmacy."

Extreme Naturopathic Medicine.

'He's the star of a new medical series.'

Vet to angry-looking dog: 'You ate some crabgrass, eh? Were you self-medicating again?'

"Aren't you getting a little carried away with this herbal medicine, Doctor?"

'Cool it with the herbal shampoo -- you've got aphids.'

"It's all locally-sourced, made from scratch."

"How many more times, you've got hayfever, so no, you can't have any cannabis oil."

Garlic, the wonderful stinking rose.

Natural Medicines

'It appears to be a side effect of the herbal eye drops you're using.'

"Lay off the natural remedies. You're beginning to ferment."

"The pharmacist will be with you shortly to answer any questions that you have."

'I hope this alternative Chinese medicine works!'

Itchy Bum? WD-3000.

Alternative medicine

"Please escort Miss Delgado to the private waiting room. She's curing my patients again."

'Have you tried Lourdes?'

"Yo, Mr. 'Knight of the Round Table' — this isn’t cilantro, it’s parsley."

'It appears to be a side effect of those herbal eye drops you've been using.'

1999 Influenza Chic.

'I quit the medication. It gave me lots of zippity, but took away my doo dah.'

Hippy fighting off medicine.

"I appreciate your researching solutions on the Internet, but there is little evidence to show twig broth and changing will help your condition."

"I tried a traditional Chinese herbal remedy for writer's block and it worked great. I wrote four new chapters in two days. Unfortunately, it was all in Chinese and I can't read Chinese."

Pinocchio Acupuncture.

"Penicillin? I'm sorry – I don't practice alternative medicine."

'I think it's 'feed a cold'...not 'drown a cold'!'

'Chicken soup? That's what my doctor prescribed?'

'I think it is a side effect of the herbal shampoo you're using.'

"I've searched every book, also the Internet, so in desperation...I've come to you, doctor!"