Unconventional Cuisine Gifts

Hospital Food

Lockdown casserole

"I'm afraid it's not cheese, it's 'cheese-like'."

Culinary Breakthroughs During Social Distancing

An experimentalist alarms his guests by describing the appearance of the mushrooms in a dish they have just eaten.

'Please, could you me to Polish my diet!'

"All good things must come to an end...unless I use both of my giant-size super-pots."

'Are you sure you don't have any Indian blood?.'

"Fridge-to-table"

'I would kill for a truffle.'

'Oh, sure, it gets the creative juices going, but is it worth the cost?'

"How much longer on your visionary gnocchi, Stefano?"

Executive Tacos

Dinner Cereal, Corn Flakes with Spaghetti Sauce.

"Our chef specializes in atomic gastronomy."

"For this dish we'll need to sauté the onion with the week-old, moldy, ant-covered French fry over medium heat. Then, we lightly flash boil our dehydrated mouse..."

Spaghetto

'I googled it Mom. There's no such thing as McLiver and onions.'

'Nothing like the workplace to inspire creativity.'

Man eating his meal with his feet.

'Uh yeah, it's supposed to be like that... it's a... it's a new invention.'

"Elaine! The avocados are ripe—what do we do? What do we do?"

'I don't know what we were thinking, baking inside a tree...'

'Frankly, the diet I'm putting you on will include things that you probably wouldn't consider 'food' as such.'

Endangered Entrees

"The special tonight is Steak Teriyaki, which is seared, cubed, and expertly tossed into your mouth.”

"In all my years of teaching I've never seen pizza dough spun into a triangle!"

Russian Cuisine. Do you still have borscht? Yes, the beet goes on.

"Sous vide hot dog round, dehydrated generic bun dust, sweet relish foam, ketchup tuile."

"I heard this dumpster got a bad review, but we'll try it out anyhow."

Those who bought my cookbook with the transposed pages will get a refund. Those who actually enjoy Lobster Alfredo a la mode - bon app

'How much gin will I need for three medium size lemons?'

"If I admit that I was wrong I would be admitting to myself that my whole life and everything I am and believe in is based on lies!"

"Hmmm, mountain oysters! Nutty flavor, with a hint of mutton!"

'Dear, what if tonight I add watercress, sorrel and purslane to our salad