Unconventional Cuisine Gifts

Hospital Food

Lockdown casserole

"I'm afraid it's not cheese, it's 'cheese-like'."

An experimentalist alarms his guests by describing the appearance of the mushrooms in a dish they have just eaten.

Culinary Breakthroughs During Social Distancing

'Please, could you me to Polish my diet!'

'I would kill for a truffle.'

"All good things must come to an end...unless I use both of my giant-size super-pots."

"Fridge-to-table"

'Are you sure you don't have any Indian blood?.'

'Oh, sure, it gets the creative juices going, but is it worth the cost?'

"How much longer on your visionary gnocchi, Stefano?"

Executive Tacos

"Our chef specializes in atomic gastronomy."

Dinner Cereal, Corn Flakes with Spaghetti Sauce.

Spaghetto

"Elaine! The avocados are ripe—what do we do? What do we do?"

Man eating his meal with his feet.

'Uh yeah, it's supposed to be like that... it's a... it's a new invention.'

"For this dish we'll need to sauté the onion with the week-old, moldy, ant-covered French fry over medium heat. Then, we lightly flash boil our dehydrated mouse..."

'I googled it Mom. There's no such thing as McLiver and onions.'

'Nothing like the workplace to inspire creativity.'

'I don't know what we were thinking, baking inside a tree...'

Those who bought my cookbook with the transposed pages will get a refund. Those who actually enjoy Lobster Alfredo a la mode - bon app

Endangered Entrees

"In all my years of teaching I've never seen pizza dough spun into a triangle!"

'Frankly, the diet I'm putting you on will include things that you probably wouldn't consider 'food' as such.'

"I heard this dumpster got a bad review, but we'll try it out anyhow."

"Sous vide hot dog round, dehydrated generic bun dust, sweet relish foam, ketchup tuile."

"The special tonight is Steak Teriyaki, which is seared, cubed, and expertly tossed into your mouth.”

'How much gin will I need for three medium size lemons?'

'You think ideas are contained in food?'

"If I admit that I was wrong I would be admitting to myself that my whole life and everything I am and believe in is based on lies!"

"Hmmm, mountain oysters! Nutty flavor, with a hint of mutton!"

'Dear, what if tonight I add watercress, sorrel and purslane to our salad