Unconventional Commitment Pillows

'Is it true a Maitre D' has the authority to marry people, just like the captain of a ship?'

"Surprise!"

'Oh Ernie, you're a louse, but I love you.'

Man with lobotomy scar - "Changed my mind."

'Jen, you knew when you married me, I was a 'corporate report' reading person - Not a 'summer fiction' reading person.'

"I need to know if you're really serious about our relationship."

'I'm writing my New Year's resolutions.' - 'I resolve to finish everything that I start.'

'As avid soccer player, Roy head-bumps his playing partner's ball in for a birdie.'

"'...Love, honor, cherish til death do us part'? Wait..."

"When we met, Marc promised to be the wind under my wings but it turned out to be all hot air."

"And do you, Courtney, take this man....Courtney!"

'I'm sorry, but 'I'll see how I feel on the night' isn't really acceptable.'

'It's not the age difference, Larry - it's the wage difference.'

'What do you mean, you're having second thoughts...?'

'It's a big step getting married. I need time to think about it - What did you say your name was?'

"These oaths aren't binding all weekend are they?"

"Let's skip marriage and just go on the honeymoon in Vegas!"

"Why can't you just read in bed?"

Things one would rather have left unsaid - 'I will!'

'I have an even better idea, Steve -- let's get married without living together!'

"I said to him eventually, I said marriage is something you're just going to have to do on your own."

Calendar; 'Point of no return.'

'He doesn't like to catch anything - He just fishes for the exercise!'

'He's never gonna marry me now, Mum.'

Speed Dating: Hurry up, you old git!

'I've been married six times, did you know? . . . Oh yes, but how many husbands I've had, I'm not sure!'

'I can't say yes or no right now, Steve, but Vince's option runs out next month.'

"What God has joined together let no man put asunder."

"Do you have anything that declares my undying love, but with a six month get out clause if it doesn't work out!"

'We're more or less engaged - he's just waiting for his fiancée to return the ring.'

"I don't even have a relationship with a bank."

'I said commit to me.'

'I now pronounce you man and wife, for what it's worth,'

'Hank,I know you promised to go fishing with me today but you should have stayed in bed.'

"It's not worth going on a date with someone you wouldn't marry."