Unconventional Engagement Pillows

"Let's skip marriage and just go on the honeymoon in Vegas!"

"I think it's about time you started thinking outside of the box Harold."

"Surprise!"

"We're gonna entertain you for exactly the next 30 minutes."

"Hello, my name is Karl and I'm addicted to speaking to small groups of strangers."

'Oh Ernie, you're a louse, but I love you.'

"Well, it might not work but at least it smells bad."

Office Park

Storage Unit of Love

"I now pronounce you man and wife. You may send the bride a kiss emoji."

"It's just that they usually ask for their ASHES to be scattered!"

Stun-gun target practice.

Facebook maze.

'Is it true a Maitre D' has the authority to marry people, just like the captain of a ship?'

"Why can't you just read in bed?"

"I knew it was unnatural to jump that high out of water."

"Sorry, but my battery died and I don’t know what to look at?"

"We have ways of making you say yes, but I want you to want to say yes."

"A high-powered career, a happy family, a big beautiful house: my dream is to avoid it all."

The army surplus blanket is great! I never thought you'd be engaged in a government cover-up.

'I like your initiative. You've got the job.'

"Mind the cliff..."

"Next time, don't start the presentation by asking, 'Can you tolerate ambiguity?'!"

"I think he's running as an independent."

Candidates for Water Divining

Man peeing from a high diving board into a toilet

Lester P. Dunwoody. A mysteriously happy square peg in a round hole that none of us can figure out.

'Your Letter of Recommendation from the outlaw biker gang, the Devil's Serpents, was certainly complimentary...but it does raise other questions.'

Donut Ho

"Agreed, church attendances have tanked, but you've picked up a sizable following on instagram."

'I teach foreign languages to ATM machines. What do you do?'

Brown Water Rafting.

Facebook Dependence

Why I Liked Your Tweet: An Infographic

101 Uses Of a Dead Cat: Majorette.