Commitment-challenged Pillows

'I like you, Abigail, but I'm feeling too much pressure in this relationship!'

'I've never been good at keeping relationships. As a kid, my boomerang wouldn't even come back.'

Just married and Just Single and Happy.

'No, but thanks for asking,'

"What I really wanted was a dog, but my landlord won't allow it. So I got married instead."

'Is that 'forsaking all others' bit compulsory?'

'Or you can rent by the week...'

"Instead of making a long-term commitment to marriage, I've decided to lease a man."

'Jen, you knew when you married me, I was a 'corporate report' reading person - Not a 'summer fiction' reading person.'

"I need to know if you're really serious about our relationship."

'I'm writing my New Year's resolutions.' - 'I resolve to finish everything that I start.'

Man playing with echos: 'Hellooooo...How are you....I love you...' 'I'm not ready for that kind of committment!'

"And do you, Courtney, take this man....Courtney!"

"I never get a girls name tattooed on a first date."

Preachers with far too much input

'I wonder if you'd go out with me. I've always wanted to go to couples therapy.'

"When we met, Marc promised to be the wind under my wings but it turned out to be all hot air."

'I do - allowing for a 50 margin of error...'

'Well, yes, when you put it that way, I am a selfish male afraid of commitment, but 'Lone Wolf' sounds better...'

'What do you mean, you're having second thoughts...?'

"And you're telling me this because?"

Dating Death

'I don't know, Randy - Marriage is so INTRUSIVE.'

'I'm sorry, but 'I'll see how I feel on the night' isn't really acceptable.'

"Would it have killed you to shave first?"

'Are you sure you want to save your marriage?'

'It's a big step getting married. I need time to think about it - What did you say your name was?'

"I said to him eventually, I said marriage is something you're just going to have to do on your own."

'And do you Emily, take George as your lawful partner until death, or the cute guy in accounts, do you part!'

"Or you could just give me half your stuff now and save us all the trouble."

'Is it true a Maitre D' has the authority to marry people, just like the captain of a ship?'

'What d'you mean - you've changed your minds?'

'I have an even better idea, Steve -- let's get married without living together!'