Commitment-challenged Pillows

'I like you, Abigail, but I'm feeling too much pressure in this relationship!'

'I've never been good at keeping relationships. As a kid, my boomerang wouldn't even come back.'

'Do you think it might be possible that what you wear could be a contributing factor to your relationship problems?'

" ... and peace be with you, although not likely."

Just married and Just Single and Happy.

'No, but thanks for asking,'

"What I really wanted was a dog, but my landlord won't allow it. So I got married instead."

'Is that 'forsaking all others' bit compulsory?'

'Or you can rent by the week...'

'Jen, you knew when you married me, I was a 'corporate report' reading person - Not a 'summer fiction' reading person.'

"Instead of making a long-term commitment to marriage, I've decided to lease a man."

Hello, Susie, it's R

'Don't try to sweet talk me, Eddie! You had your chance yesterday! We are through!'

"I need to know if you're really serious about our relationship."

'I'm writing my New Year's resolutions.' - 'I resolve to finish everything that I start.'

Man playing with echos: 'Hellooooo...How are you....I love you...' 'I'm not ready for that kind of committment!'

"And do you, Courtney, take this man....Courtney!"

"I never get a girls name tattooed on a first date."

'I wonder if you'd go out with me. I've always wanted to go to couples therapy.'

Preachers with far too much input

"When we met, Marc promised to be the wind under my wings but it turned out to be all hot air."

'I do - allowing for a 50 margin of error...'

'I don't know, Randy - Marriage is so INTRUSIVE.'

'Well, yes, when you put it that way, I am a selfish male afraid of commitment, but 'Lone Wolf' sounds better...'

"And you're telling me this because?"

'I'm sorry, but 'I'll see how I feel on the night' isn't really acceptable.'

'What do you mean, you're having second thoughts...?'

Dating Death

'I have an even better idea, Steve -- let's get married without living together!'

'What d'you mean - you've changed your minds?'

'And do you Emily, take George as your lawful partner until death, or the cute guy in accounts, do you part!'

"Would it have killed you to shave first?"

"Or you could just give me half your stuff now and save us all the trouble."

"I said to him eventually, I said marriage is something you're just going to have to do on your own."

'Is it true a Maitre D' has the authority to marry people, just like the captain of a ship?'