Unconventional Choices Pillows

"Surprise!"

"Where’s your sense of Gothic romance?"

Storage Unit of Love

"Oh, you silly girl, you! Don't tell me you brought home another husband."

"Do you actually trust that thing?"

Pub Kendo.

'I'm sending him out to drum up new business.'

"I can't stand working in the office, but I don't mind the commute."

'You would think that our agent could make better travel arrangements for us than this.'

"At least we're not spending money on gas for travel."

"I got napkins, family photos, and the strongest lip balm in the city."

"Which free tote goes best?"

Spaghetto

"Sweet dreams, Tim." "Mort Feldstein: Loving father and professional clown."

"What is it going to be, a breakfast or shampoo?"

'Dad, I'm a lab-rat by choice, it's my profession. Now you're just going to have to accept the fact that you have a son who's pregnant!'

"I should've known better than to AirBNB from a bird."

'Is it true a Maitre D' has the authority to marry people, just like the captain of a ship?'

"You're the one who wanted to go someplace off the beaten track - you ask him what's gluten free."

'Frankly, the diet I'm putting you on will include things that you probably wouldn't consider 'food' as such.'

'I'm sorry, but I just don't think you're cut out to sell real estate.'

"This is our adoptive son. We found him in the cellar where he was raised by spiders."

"What?!... You said you wanted to holiday somewhere different this year!"

"So Ed, car in the shop again?"

'Darling, I've brought mom round for tea! I hope it won't spoil my surprise!'

Sadojazzachists

"You are going on a long journey. . ."

'Where do you see yourself in 24 hours?'

'We'll see you again in three months time, then, sir.'

"He loved the beach."

Wedding nose ring

'The Ridiculous Slippers Shop'

Newly weds hitchhiking: 'Niagara Falls'.