Unassertive Adventurers T-Shirts

Over the years, Sid had refined travel on the path of least resistance to a fine art.

Pina Coladas

"Well, I've come this close to asking out Sylvia Sanchez. But I'm just an average guy! Nothing about me says 'I'm cool! Look at me!'"

Ego Increasing School

"Can you remember the general shape of our car?"

'It's your babysitter, where do you keep your fire extinguisher?'

'You made a complete fool of yourself at the party last night...I just hope no one knows you were sober.'

3 Pointless Things To Do At Christmas: Add a little festivity to your favourite fast food/Look up an old friend/Murder the Scotch.

"Now that we've fermented coconut milk, do we build a boat or a tiki bar?"

'I'm sorry, but I haven't understood a word you've babbled since I turned left on red.'

'According to this stop watch I'm not growing up fast enough.'

"OK, here comes Sylvia Sanchez...it's a perfect time to ask her to the homecoming dance."

"Don't tell me I forgot me toothbrush again."

'I don't get it! Not one of these books gives the same advice TWICE!

Gerald's first ever date remains on track.

A giant diamond hurtles through space toward a population of very conflicted women.

Fishing is fine but it's not what you'd call a spectator sport.

'I'm not taking any chances with the water jump this year.'

"It's just like that thing you've got under your bed, only this one is for old people."

Agoraphobic Explorer

"Somewhere along the line the world got a whole lot dorkier."

"And so it begins... Now where'd I put my dang glasses..."

"Ice rink"

"Is it okay that I said yes to that costume party?"

"If your instincts tell you to go out in a shark infested ocean then go. My instincts are sending me to a nice little aquarium out in the suburbs."

The plumber asks out the cable lady.

"The new position not only comes with a bump in salary, but allows me to extend my reach into areas where I'm not qualified."

Hunting - Man asked to go hunting by his wife

"Right now someone is saying 'Look, somebody threw out a perfectly good briefcase!"

Driver's Ed instructor: 'I would think about passing you, Albert, if you hadn't driven in reverse down the One Way the wrong way 60 miles an hour over an open manhole ...'kay?'

Socially awkward shipwrecks.

"I've been out of the dating scene a long time. Is kissing still a thing?"

'You can't do this to me, Arlene! -- I'm not the outdoorsy TYPE!'

"Did we switch everything off before we left?"

"Every year it's the same story...dangerous situations. Slippery slopes. Inescapable traps. Horrible creatures. But I trudge forward because no matter what...it's hard to avoid the first day of school."