Reluctant Adventurer T-Shirts

"Sorry, I can't make it tonight - I have too good a parking sport."

Hunting - Man asked to go hunting by his wife

'You can't do this to me, Arlene! -- I'm not the outdoorsy TYPE!'

'Bloody Climbing Experience Gifts. Bloody grand children. Why couldn't they have given me a pair of slippers!'

'Oh, Tom was supposed to go hunting with you today? Just a minute, I'll see if he's home.'

"Every year it's the same story...dangerous situations. Slippery slopes. Inescapable traps. Horrible creatures. But I trudge forward because no matter what...it's hard to avoid the first day of school."

"I am not asking for directions."

"Honey, can you read through our list and let me know if I forgot anything?"

"I enjoy the one day of the school year...that I didn't forget to do my homework."

"Well, I've come this close to asking out Sylvia Sanchez. But I'm just an average guy! Nothing about me says 'I'm cool! Look at me!'"

'You just couldn't wait to try out the new Jet Ski before we got up to the lake, could you?'

'You made a complete fool of yourself at the party last night...I just hope no one knows you were sober.'

3 Pointless Things To Do At Christmas: Add a little festivity to your favourite fast food/Look up an old friend/Murder the Scotch.

'It was a rare accident. Lightning struck his bed pan.'

"You ever get the feeling the posse's starting to lose focus?"

'Which arrow points to my office?'

"To tell you the truth, I never thought downward mobility would be so, well, downward."

"Phone, wallet, glasses... What am I forgetting?"

Gerald's first ever date remains on track.

"OK, here comes Sylvia Sanchez...it's a perfect time to ask her to the homecoming dance."

Airline concerns.

"I'm a speaker and I'm lost. Which one of these rooms has the conference/seminar/convention/wedding that I don't remember the name of?"

I just don't trust those self-flying brooms yet.

'I must confess I admire people like you...Executives brave enough to say 'No I need a holiday.' I don't care if my clients look elsewhere, I'm not going to sacrifice my leisure time to climb the slippery pole to the very top...'

"Ice rink"

"Somewhere along the line the world got a whole lot dorkier."

"If your instincts tell you to go out in a shark infested ocean then go. My instincts are sending me to a nice little aquarium out in the suburbs."

Excess Baggage: Forcing your homebody spouse to accompany you on a business trip is generally not a great idea.

The plumber asks out the cable lady.

"Poop. I forgot my coffee mug was on the roof of the saucer."

"You know that feeling when you walk into a room and can't remember why you're there..."

"I hate these walkabouts. Did you remember to get me some corn plasters?"

"Sorry, dear, but vowing NOT to climb Mount Everest this year isn't a valid New Year's resolution."

"I've lost my keys, my wallet and my iPhone! Frankly, I think MINE is the lost generation!"

"I've just realised I forgot to record Bake Off. I'm going to have to go back!"