Anxious Adventurers T-Shirts

'Did you remember to unplug the car?'

Now I have two types of free-floating anxiety!

'Could you please stop referring to on-coming traffic as imminent threats?'

'I guess my brain just started to really care about itself.'

Airplane Mode.

'Let's try it once without the parachute.'

"Well, I've come this close to asking out Sylvia Sanchez. But I'm just an average guy! Nothing about me says 'I'm cool! Look at me!'"

Neurotics in the tropics

3 Pointless Things To Do At Christmas: Add a little festivity to your favourite fast food/Look up an old friend/Murder the Scotch.

"Hell: The Airport"

'You made a complete fool of yourself at the party last night...I just hope no one knows you were sober.'

'It's your babysitter, where do you keep your fire extinguisher?'

"I had that dream again where you're writing down all my fears and anxieties and working them into a screenplay."

'Life isn't fair! Most of the stuff I worried about over the years never even happened!'

'I'm sorry, but I haven't understood a word you've babbled since I turned left on red.'

"Well, this must be as big as I'm supposed to get."

'According to this stop watch I'm not growing up fast enough.'

Gerald's first ever date remains on track.

"OK, here comes Sylvia Sanchez...it's a perfect time to ask her to the homecoming dance."

"There's no limit to what you can do with your life. Just look at me - I'm a chicken who ordered a beer."

"I know there's safety in numbers, but I suffer from enochlophobia: Can you help me?"

"If only you knew. . ."

'I don't get it! Not one of these books gives the same advice TWICE!

Agoraphobic Explorer

"Yeah, I used to have an emotional support animal, but then I upgraded to a conflict avoidance scooter."

"Ice rink"

"Is it okay that I said yes to that costume party?"

"Somewhere along the line the world got a whole lot dorkier."

The plumber asks out the cable lady.

"I have the results of your PET scan and your CT scan. You are not claustrophobic."

"The new position not only comes with a bump in salary, but allows me to extend my reach into areas where I'm not qualified."

Man in elevator looking at sign that says 'Stare Here.'

'Why the seat belt.' Restraining patient.

There are no such things as mountain ghosts.

My Progress Towards Achieving My Goals