Umpire Wrangler Pillows

"It's rigged. They have an umpire."

'Do you think he's ready for the big round-up?'

'Lion Tamer experience hey? Well, I have a project currently needing your management skills...'

High Riders of the Old West

Baseball pitch with a sign saying 'No Left Turn.'

"He's got great velocity but his trajectory needs work."

"This ump is so good he doesn't even blink."

"Excuse me, but I believe you are in my seat."

"I'll be honest... there are books by James Joyce that are easier to follow than these bad boys."

'...I don't like your chances!'

'I hate it when they emulate their major league heroes.'

"How'd I do on the test?"

Cricket widow's revenge 2

Dave cut costs and now realizes that in order to pass inspection, he may have to arrange a marriage between his daughter and the building inspector's son.

'Hold on there Jethro! You know I don't tolerate that kind of horseplay in this joint.'

'That was a flagrant misconduct of the left hand.'

'You can't beat the excitement of a new county season.'

"Compromise? What the hell is there between safe and out?"

Get back in that locker room! Go on - scat! ... Anyone else forget to wash his hands?'

'The only thing exciting about these games is our dads fighting with the umpire.'

How Many It Takes

Isn't there something about this in th Geneva Convention

Baseball.

'How's that, Umpire?'

'OK...now what?'

College of Referee Training: 'Congratulations, you failed your eye test abysmally!'

'There's no need for confusion. Part 935 of Mining Regulation 823, Section 323 in Article L clearly states . . . '

You promised you wouldn't bring work home with you!

'Did you want me, boss?'

'A willingness to sacrifice yourself to bring 'peace and succor to the suffering' is all very well Mother Theresa but I don't think it makes up for your lack of knowledge of current hand sanitisation protocols.'

Balk? Balk! Balk! Balk! Balk! Balk! Balk! Balk! Balk! Balk! Balk! Balk! Balk!

'Out. How come?' - 'Off side.'