Umbrella Skeptic Gifts

"Is really wet, here!"

"Apparently it's going to be very heavy today and could catch some people offguard!"

Sunbathers.

"I know it looks fine, but let's get an engineer's report and a termite inspection just to be on the safe side."

'We studied the multiplication table in school today -- frankly, I don't believe a word of it.'

"I packed the cooking gear like you told me, Dad...where do I plug it in?"

Punctuation Weather

"Social service teams are claiming that they can't recruit workers because of the vicious, biased reports we write about them!"

Rational explanations

"What do you want to be when you give up?"

'Just stop for a minute. Smell that pine scent. Drink in the view. I don't think we could pick a better site for our 'Mega-Mall'!'

"We also stock non-alcoholic wine" "Why?"

A person is reading another person's thoughts.

PERSONNEL, 'Your resume has everything but verisimilitude.''

"So if I'm to understand you correctly, this 'engineered athletic footwear' with its 'extended torsion system' is also a sneaker?"

"£38,000 in consultancy fees and 'sell more stuff' is the best you can manage."

But the brochures says breakfast in bed! Yes, only if you carry your bed down to the dining room!

'Lincoln Standardized Test Center - formerly Lincoln High School'

"Why do you always get to be 'half-full' and I have to be 'half empty'!?"

'I'll bet this would be more fun on a computer.'

Street sweeper with an umbrella on his broom.

"I wonder if we'll still have to eat kale this summer."

Watering the flowers in the rain.

'Nature makes me nervous!'

It was love at first sight.

Giraffe Umbrella...

'We can't even sue! It's just as the brochure said - sand ,sea ,sun ,solitude... '

'If my mom's so afraid I'll get wet, how come she's always trying to make me take a bath?'

"Taking crazy risks gives me such a rush. Like check out my phone. No case!"

"I never saved for a rainy day...I grew up shopping in an enclosed mall!"

"I'm a foul weather fan."

"If you're so sober, why ain't you rich?"

"So is this the fun part, or will there be even bigger bugs sticking to my face soon?"

"Do you want to share?"