Protective Skeptic Gifts

"Taking crazy risks gives me such a rush. Like check out my phone. No case!"

"You have to believe what you're doing will lead to something valuable, even though it probably won't."

Science Museum. Why are you skeptical about the things scientists say? Because they claim the universe is expanding but when I visited my childhood hometown, everything was smaller.

'Personally I can't see anything wrong with GM crops!'

'Don't believe everything you read in the papers!' (Vicar to lady reading the war cry).

"You atheists wouldn't exist without God!"

Sunday 10 and 2: The Usual Superstitions.

"I know it looks fine, but let's get an engineer's report and a termite inspection just to be on the safe side."

Library. Story Hour. This fact-checking site says no cow has ever jumped over the moon.

'Don't believe everything you read.'

Atheist Convention: 'I don't believe it!'

"As far as I can tell, meditation is just worrying minus the content."

'So help me, which god?'

"What do the know!"

"What do you want to be when you give up?"

"Please cut and paste these prayers to an other gods up there....just in case I've been following the wrong one."

"We also stock non-alcoholic wine" "Why?"

Expert examining painting: "Ladies and gentlemen, I'm afraid it's a fake."

'Oh my god!'

PERSONNEL, 'Your resume has everything but verisimilitude.''

A person is reading another person's thoughts.

"Yes, I've read the bible. I've also read 'Harry Potter', but I don't believe in wizards."

"Now just relax and leave everything to Doctor Jones here. He's the best there is in the entire medical field of quackupuncture."

"Of course our products are absolutely safe!

'I blame the internet.'

"You should start taking probiotics now, before we discover that they don't make any difference."

Proving Jesus lived is harder than finding footprints in the water he walked on.

"When Daddy goes by, make sure he can see how bored we are."

"I wonder if we'll still have to eat kale this summer."

"Yes, but what happens if the ‘sniffling, sneezing coughing, aching, stuffy-head, fever, so-you-can-rest medicine’ makes me hallucinate?"

"Of course I believe in God. He's as real as Santa."

Your daily horoscope.

Sadie, I just heard something disturbing, and I think you're the only one who can tell me whether it's true. Youtube is telling me I've lived 300 years of phantom time. Pope Gregory XIII's math was off when he created our calendar, and this is actually the year 1717. What's more, the Middle Ages is just a fiction the pope created to explain his rounding error. You were there, Sadie ... did King Arthur really exist? I'll tell you about that nice boy, as soon as I demonstrate how we dealt with her

"I never saved for a rainy day...I grew up shopping in an enclosed mall!"

Hey! Everybody makes mistakes.