Ufo Buffs Pillows

'Low fat, high fiber. We'll come back tonight for the rest of them.'

'How did you EXPECT me to come back?'

'Eat the grass in perfect circles, It drives them crazy,'

"Abduction 101, when abducting eggs from a primitive planet always lower the temperature in the ship!"

Secret footage from Roswell, shows an alien and debris from a crashed UFO

"Houston, we have a problem."

Hair Crop Circle

Alien Snowmen

"I brought back important data on that blue planet called Earth."

'They're just like us, except they watch more television.'

"I can never understand these foreign crop circles."

"Don't be sad, Bud. These decisions are so political."

"Not now, Oliver."

"Take me to your mechanic."

"My latest sighting turned out to be just another weather balloon."

'First the dinosaurs, now this...'

How am I abducting?

Alien Assumption

'...heard the one about the Venusian, the Martian and the Saturnian?'

Watch the skies: UFO buffs all stare at the sky, yet alien is amongst them.

Right, this is the map of all the UFO sightings. Hold the light steady love.

"Fantastic! Do you realize what we've just stumbled upon? It's the fabled Lost Glove Compartment of the Ancient Astronauts!"

How life on Earth really got its start.

Aliens with abducted person look at a suggestion box.

"I've always wondered, do light years have half the calories of regular years?"

'Mother, there's something you're not telling me about that alien invasion, I can feel it!'

"Greetings, Earthling. How are the schools?"

'Hello Mr Preston? This is an ALIEN speaking. We have landed in your paddock. We have mutilated your cows. We have made loud crashing noises...what the hell is on your TV that's so special?'

"What the hell, sweetheart―if you want it, it's yours!"

Elevator Music

If the Brontë sisters wrote science fiction

'Well, somebody on this stupid little planet ordered an extra-large with pepperoni and mushrooms!'

'Six years ago you received a complimentary set of steak knives. You thought they were free didn't you Jimmy?...'

"Hold on - I need to tell the credit card company I'm going on a trip."

'I hate having to go outside for a cigarette!'